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  • I had my first experience with fisting this weekend. Giving not receiving. Is that the gateway drug for S&M?

  • I'm wearing the same outfit I wore out to the bars on Saturday but that's okay because most of my clothes were off anyway.

  • rmankhey posted a tweet on Twitter.

    @boogdogDC Well said, @elliegoulding. Well said.

  • Keep the cupcake. I just want the frosting.

  • rmankhey posted a tweet on Twitter.

    Keep the cupcake. I just want the frosting.

  • rmankhey posted a tweet on Twitter.

    Parting is such sweet sorrow. @boogdogDC

Daily Digest for 2010-03-31

Posted by Richard Mankhey

	4:01am	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard wants to know if calling the Poison Hotline is necessary in the event of a Peep™ overdose.
	11:25pm	rmankhey posted 89 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @Jase11 I’ll tell him to look you up on Foursquare. @mtclmbr1450 It’s *possible* he’s been to my place, but memory banks say "No". @edmontongreg So far so good. 5 minutes into it & I haven’t even peeled the banana yet! The 3 grams of psilocybin I had at 10am might explain that zombie licking my toes. He looks hungry. @michaelfmuller OMG. I ate there last night w/ @DCJono & @pmpknkt: IHOP! LULZ. @A_Ron_The_DJ Are you illin’ again, cupcake? Did the Jewish Angel of Death only do a half-assed job on you? @pockettpatrick I love that commercial. I want those earrings. @jonschup Good call. Not quite as edible as popcorn, but good in a pinch! I’m kind of like the 3 Musketeers except there’s only 1 of me & my motto is "You gonna eat that?" @A_Ron_The_DJ Get better soon! RELATED: I’ve scheduled a funny tweet about allergies for 10:36am. Stay tuned. @ELJefe843 It’s so sexy, isn’t it? Lol. @mtclmbr1450 Obama’s a copycat!?!? *poof* *poof* …and more *poofs* @OneFineJay Aww, hugs back atcha! I like you. @Chugs07 I’m better now & even got to gross out a couple weak-stomached colleagues. #score @SoCalMeeka *shrugs* It’s what I do best! ;-D @JosieDC *examines hands* They are kinda, aren’t they? I missed my calling doing cross-stitching for a living. @jonschup I find 1/2 ply toilet paper to be a particularly big pain in the a$$. This dude has checked in at my recently deleted home address on Foursquare: http://bit.ly/aatRLr I don’t know you, dude, but cute baby. @whosthatgirl2 ‘Sup sexy sista’? @jonschup I have a secret stash of bubble wrap in my desk drawer. It’s light-years better than any stress ball. @meaganhtfld I was freaking out because I was dreading your return. (no, not really) @sianyrobinson I’m fine, thanks. I think I got the attention of our Legal Dept. however. #lawyers #vampires @SoCalMeeka None planned yet. Can I maybe call in ’sick’ tomorrow then show up on Friday and say "April Fool’s!" @extraspecial The only time I find it useful is when I’m meeting someone at the place I’m checking in to. I’m too lazy any other time. Bus Stop Experiment #99: Erotically consume a banana & see if I can get any phone #’s. @A_Peabody I suck at April Fool’s too. So far this is all I’ve come up with for work: http://ow.ly/i/T2u/original @michaelfmuller He’s obviously a villain if he won’t let you have 100 dogs. Tomorrow is April Fool’s Day! Who’s planning shenanigans? Dish, please. Is it *really* going to be 80 degrees soon? Sheesh. Sweaty Butt-Crack season sneaks up on me every year. @sianyrobinson Actuallyl, I could use a little podiatric exfoliation… @extraspecial I gave up Foursquare when I took umbrage that someone stole my mayorship of something. #overit It was only a matter of time before they remade Godzilla. I nominate Nancy Pelosi for the lead. This is absolute PERFECT weather for waiting for a bus. So perfect in fact, who needs clothes? Hmmm…Cobalt is doing their annual Karaoke Idol contest & tonight is a qualifying night. $1,000 prize? I’m in! @DCJono That’s cute! RELATED: Oddly enough that’s what I call my…*tweet dropped* @sianyrobinson Well that’s ONE thing women and men have in common: sweaty cleavage! Oh nothing…just trying to uncross my eyes from reading contracts for hours. Step 1: Gift a billion cherry trees. Step 2. Buy stock in allergy meds Step 3. Profit : Very clever, Japan. @extraspecial There’s that and, oh, maybe I’m uncomfortable saying "Here’s my home address" and "Oh, BTW, I’m not home right now". @eyephoto85 Maybe I’m just hungry. Or anemic. ***waits patiently for the next movie featuring the destruction of national monuments*** WSC gym locker rooms beat out Gold’s locker rooms hands (& all other body parts down). Free towels, shampoo, conditioner & vats of lotion. @OneFineJay No. It’s the sound of me hitting the "Unfollow" button. A little Spring cleaning. RT @A_Ron_The_DJ: Look it’s a 4-eyed @bobalouie http://tweetphoto.com/16421892 // Cute! Um, he has eyes in his nostrils? @michaelfmuller No. That’s un-Constitutional. An ‘erected’ official is a different story, however. Obama wants to drill for oil in Virginia. We should get special gas rates for contributing to the petrol supply. @Jase11 I was on my way to Med School but extensive shadowing during college with the good Dr. Coster convinced me otherwise. @JosieDC RT @DrGatewood: Boy Born With 15 Fingers and16 Toes http://bit.ly/bqP3Qe #FreakShow // Relative of yours, I presume? @Jase11 Good memory! Yes I veered towards research then bailed on that also. The Lab environment leads to a sallow complexion. @michaelfmuller ZOMG that’s the biggest rat I’ve ever seen! @michaelfmuller Agreed. Reading is so 19th Century. @zitellona Aww! An April Fool’s joke w/ heart! I admire that about you. @yancito Okay, maybe them, but I’m comfortable enough w/ my body for public nudity…& inevitable incarceration. I’m bracing myself for the EMP that Apple will soon release to render all devices prior to the iPad inoperable. @extraspecial Some people are checking in as bus stops, even. I wish I’d thought of that when I used to use Foursquare. @DCJason @suicide_blond Lemme guess…a Tahitian Wax? @Chugs07 I don’t have a car but I feel the need to get the back of my petrol-purchasing peeps. @michaelfmuller #rickyroll RELATED: What do you call a one-legged woman? @DrGatewood That’s why I continue my search for the 6-fingered man. The limiting factor of today’s workday is Scotch™ tape. I’m all outta tape. Time to blow this pop stand. @slummymummy9 Summer’s Eve? RT @DRUNKHULK: @bobalouie NO WAY! DRUNK HULK LOVE GLAUCOMA! ESPECIALLY ON TACO! // My 1st Celebrity Mention! Thanks, DRUNKHULK! RT @has2b_christyv: bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon penis RT @slummymummy9: @bobalouie i gotta work. So the jokes on me #Aprilfools // Oh snap. I guess that makes two of us. #deucedunces @pockettpatrick …and what of "hey girl hey"? @DCBrent @MarkDC @Jamberta That was pretty darn clever, actually. @zitellona Nice! Do you know what would be good? Pre-printing all the paper with pics of boobs & replacing it in the printer trays. Thank you very much for the ReTweet! @LegalMoose @mampdx @floridajewel @KarlFrisch @woolfmg I’ll bet you even @DRUNKHULK flinches during glaucoma tests. @DrGatewood You should be very proud. Those extra digits would be useful in a survival situation. #ViennaSausages @michaelfmuller Apparently Democrats support drilling also. Clinton drilled interns & Obama has his eye on Virginia. @JosieDC Isn’t there a Seinfeld episode about that?#handmodel #dontcurseme @Jase11 @eyephoto85 Can I suck on it first? #thatswhatshesaid @slummymummy9 Cement is kosher? Since when? @OneFineJay No way dude! You’re good tweeple! @crmetz I have a feeling the ridiculousness won’t stop even if you unprotect your tweets. @edmontongreg Pretty firm actually, but not *completely* tumescent. My mom has no faith in me. She says I’ll never out-marry Elizabeth Taylor. I smell a challenge. @SuDeepe @michaelfmuller Precisely! …and what do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Dear @Adobe, please give PhotoShop a Glyphs palette: http://ilovetypography.com/dear-adobe/glyphs.html @michaelfmuller Oooh. You’re good. @woolfmg Why didn’t I see this sooner? ;-D My stapler bit me! #carnivore http://twitgoo.com/misg9 Certain words have a Pavlovian effect on me. Right now "angus" is making me salivate. @OneFineJay "Leather" makes me think of all the bad renditions of "Leather & Lace" I’ve heard at karaoke. So yes, I c.r.i.n.g.e. @SoCalMeeka Mmmm….angus. @A_Peabody I should totally Photoshop that to include your awesome suggestion. Ha! @meaganhtfld Pictures of "BEFORE" and "AFTER" please, so I know exactly how much you’re gonna kick my ass when we tweetup (finally). @michaelfmuller #doglady #cruelladeville

Posted in: Lifestream Comments(0) Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Daily Digest for 2010-03-30

Posted by Richard Mankhey

11:09pm

rmankhey posted 110 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @whosthatgirl2 Good morning Sunshine! Where did you get your Twitter name, BTW? Inquiring minds want to know. For some reason, the world feels just a little bit gayer today. Hmm. @JosieDC I won’t be using my hands. @Nock4Six Whatever solace it may bring, we have identified the lesser of two evils. @DCbigpappa @thebestdistress Some of us don’t have to make milkshakes for the boys to show up in our yards. For the record, I don’t have herpes. That bottle of Valtrex is an heirloom. The Metro train conductor just said: "Good Morning. Salutations. Buenas dias!" What, no "Bonjour"? @michaelfmuller That is rather uncanny. My mom always asks why I tell people that and I say "Because it’s a cool story!" @SnoopDannyDan …just when you think everything’s been said, you gotta go and prove me wrong. Quite hilariously, might I add. @snoopysnowcone Why worry about constipation? Isn’t the Angel of Death gonna kill you in your sleep tonight? @theroux I read that this morning. I <3 Photoshop’s Patch tool. I can control people’s thoughts from afar. Lady Gaga: wear nothing but disco balls & bubbles wrap. (See?) @slummymummy9 I dunno…it makes me wonder if your bunnies could be a little faster…& with a bloodlust for kids. @camsmg Who else could I possibly have reserved first in line for? Hmmm? I’ll spare your pretty eyes, of course. @A_Peabody You’re solar-powered? H.O.T. @JosieDC Sweet (meat)! @sianyrobinson Oops. Sorry. Lemme try again. @DCJono @Andrew703 I wrestled in high school. We’d do conditioning every day after 2 hrs of practice and would only quit when someone puked. @davbart It’s so empowering, isn’t it? The flipside is coming back from a meeting & having 30 messages appear followed by a slight freakout. @SoCalMeeka I’m proud of you!! Keep up the good work. "Habit is not to be thrown out the window but coaxed down the stairs 1 at a time". @boogdogDC ;-D I prefer the bay window. @kelkel926 Aww, shucks babe! Thanks! I’m sure I have some neurosis of some kind but if it entertains others than I don’t want a cure! @boogdogDC We have not discussed Roison Murphy. I am titillated. @michaelfmuller …and to go for broke they say "I must Ricky-Roll you"? @Chugs07 I don’t mean to be mean but it’s a comical event 99% of the time. ESPECIALLY with tourists. @aliholden FYI, ‘porn’ is a really dumb password. As is ‘beavis’. Change it now. I happen to own a lot of pleather. Did I just tweet that out loud just now? @Jase11 LOL. Maybe they can forge some sort of Vatican state thing here in the US of A. I’m playing "New Artist Roulette" and downloading new tunes. 1st up is Julieta Venegas. Ole! @sianyrobinson If something’s beeping get out of the way! A pram running backwards is about to attack! Need your swan cleaned? There’s a ‘Swan Cleaners’ in Vienna, VA. Who names these places anyway? Time to go a runnin’ in this gusty, blustery afternoon. #runninagainstthewind BBL @eyephoto85 It’s like some band names. It sounded like a good idea at the time while drunk and stoned… Being Aryan means having a lot of blue in your wardrobe: http://twitgoo.com/m79sl *patiently waiting for Paris Hilton to release her next album* @A_Peabody "Anybody want a peanut?" How ’bout you? Salted or raw? W/ all my coworkers on FB it’s time to step up my status update game to include glue-sniffing & snuff films. @argylestyle My new niece (3 weeks) has a pink camo pacifier. Where does that fit into non-gender neutral colors? @camsmg …and risk poking someone’s eye out? Particularly someone who’s 3 feet tall? @lwilcher Well, that and my utter lack of athletic prowess. @michaelfmuller I found out when I was 20 that my father wasn’t my biological father. Some sperm donor UNMC-Omaha medical student was. I’m not gonna lie…I totally wanna get all up in someone’s iPad. Any takers? @Amanda_Rudelt I’m a runner so good leg days aren’t hard to come by. The matching socks part is what throws me. @eyephoto85 Precisely! Dang drugged up celebrities. Then there’s my future sister in law… @zitellona He totally should’ve said "Guten täg" instead of "Salutations". Or maybe "Konichiwa" in honor of our tourists. @boogdogDC Both feet are yours. As is all the rest. @SoCalMeeka :-D I’m marvelous thank you, Meeka. I hope you’re awesome also. @MarkDC @5windows @DCBrent This is why I have a secret Twitter account. All the benefits of anonymity without the hassle. Overheard at work: "I want you to take advantage of the backside." @KimW16 I hope your car doors are locked. One of them might be out there trying to jack it. Look, if you’re gonna put honey in your body lotion I’m just gonna eat it, okay? Deal with it. @Nock4Six Take. The. Sock. Off! Metrobus: Now 52% comfier! http://twitgoo.com/mh7ck William Hung…"She Bangs"…Ryan Seacrest…it all make sense now. Beavers are furry rodents. @michaelfmuller You say ‘filthy’ I say ‘flirty’… Standing at the bus stop watching 5 buzzards circle over McDonald’s. How appropriate. @bdgrlaw I’d love that! We have an Outback nearby. @whosthatgirl2 YouTube it. While it’s not my favorite song of theirs I do love me some Eurhythmics. @michaelfmuller Was her name Frau Farbissna? @MichaThom Hey! I STILL don’t have the latest Droid firmware update. What gives? I couldn’t get the Cyanogen mod to work either. @Amanda_Rudelt I suppose, but I’ve been meaning to shave them. Shows off more muscle definition that way. What happens in Yemen doesn’t stay in Yemen. @michaelfmuller Colorblind, no sense of direction & a weak bladder? Wow! We coulda been separated at birth! I’m pressing "Sleep" on my iPod and on myself. Good night Twitterverse. Sleep well and dream of large women. Oh that beeping sound? Just me backing up. Carry on. @slummymummy9 Projectile vomit in the general direction of his crotch. #nothingbutnet @MarioSemiglia I’m not kidding. I loved every song on Paris’ album. http://zenhabits.net/2010/03/simplify-your-workday/ [#4 is about Twitter & other distractions; good stuff] @michaelfmuller If Christoph is in the medical field it’s possible he could be my father. @declutteryou I KNEW someone would notice the wire hangers and I also KNEW it would be you! #FAIL People with crustacean allergies are on no-crab diets. @matthewarchman It’s dark, but from what I can see it’s obviously a good look for you. @victoriastiles Not at all! In fact, to commemmorate it I’ll put "She Bangs" on repeat all day and bathe in the irony. @???????? Sir, is your name Hollandaise? I noticed you’re always on the sauce. Sign makers should consult 3 year olds. If you tell someone NOT to do something you KNOW they’re gonna do it. Hello new followers! I hope you’re enjoying my tweets so far. Just don’t feed me after midnight or it’ll get scary! The only reason I’m not a professional football player is because I can’t stand football. @boogdogDC You can give me either one you like; or both. If it’s you that’s giving, I don’t care what it is. I’ll take it. A friend of mine who’s traveling for work in China is having major Facebook withdrawals. Poor bastard. @boogdogDC The halls are incorrect. You’re anything but wrong. @SoCalMeeka THAT would be phenomenal! RT @drunktwt: When @bobalouie opens his mouth it’s only to change whichever foot was previously there. // Ha ha! Wait… @kelkel926 If the electro-shocks to the head haven’t worked by now then there’s nothing to worry about. @bdgrlaw I do indeed. Right off of Route 7 and very near Tyson’s shopping center. Twitter, you rapacious black hole. I have clothes to fold. BBL @SoCalMeeka LOL. There is that. Also ‘drink’ has a way of making things interesting. +_+ @pjohnson360 Actually that is exactly the case. Since you asked. @pjohnson360 That is such slander! Everyone knows I can fit BOTH feet into my mouth at the same time! RT @michaelfmuller: I must licky you // It’s amazing what jumps out of my tweetstream and smacks me across the face. I’m quite pleased with the fact that I’ve been at my job 7 months and I have only 7 messages in my Inbox. #InboxZero @pjohnson360 I wrestled in high school. I’m pretty flexible. My friends called me "Gumby". "www.metroopensdoors.com" To my delight, it also closes them on people. Just like a boy trying to give it away, I’ll regret tomorrow more than yesterday. RT @FancyMess: And 70% less funny. RT @Bagyants: Ending your statement with "I’m just saying" has been proven to make it 30% less offensive. @RockstrNinjaGrl Don’t you discourage the memory of Great Grandma Luella like that! #valtrex @Jase11 Is that where all the French Canadians hole up? No wonder I avoid it. @whosthatgirl2 I like it! I thought it might be because of the Eurhythmics song. @snoopysnowcone Oh snap. I thought that was your version of the "sock on the doorknob" trick. @DCToddNow Especially if the shorts are plaid! I don’t own any of those however. Plaid shorts are my arch enemy. @crmetz Mumu. @DCToddNow Plaid. @matthewarchman I look forward to visual aids. I was tempted to invade DC this evening but I have mounds of clean laundry giving me the #sideeye. So I’m putting away clothes and I can’t decide if the kilts go with the shorts or the pants. Thoughts? @boogdogDC Well then I’ll see what the arms of Morpheus have to show me. Sweet dreams, Boogie. @MichaThom Somewhere out there is a pair of chaps and a leather athletic supporter with my name on them. @DCbigpappa Screw the milkshake, I need the whole dang shake makin’ machine. @thebestdistress @argylestyle Thanks! I think so. I am in agreement with you on gender-specific colors, BTW. RT @RockstrNinjaGrl: Curiosity may have killed the cat, but to be fair curiosity was going the speed limit & the cat didn’t look both ways.

Posted in: Lifestream Comments(0) Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Daily Digest for 2010-03-29

Posted by Richard Mankhey

	6:35pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard has a Sharpie fetish.
	11:33pm	rmankhey posted 37 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @debihope One is more likely to encounter Mondays by being hit by it in a crosswalk. I’ve discovered I fall in love once a day. Today I fell in love twice…with the same person. RT @kdawg1313: @NCSoxFan79 tornados scare the hell outta me! @bobalouie // This is why I only visit home (Kansas) during Christmas!! It’s raining and the earthworms are all up in arms…well…they would be if the had arms. Hey guys, do I look like a junkie? I just got offered drugs on the Metro for the 2nd time in a week. #score Kudos to the bus driver for cutting 30 min off the ride to work…& endangering my life in the process. Cheers! RT @michaelfmuller: Why Women Stay Single: http://bit.ly/c5CG3v // "I’m too sexy for this box" <—- FTW My boyfriend is whining at me to come to bed. This is what I get for buying a Spongebob sheet-set. Good night y’all! @SoCalMeeka ‘Tis true! I will collect some of it. Most is hard copy. I’ve been meaning to digitize it. @davesilverstone Who would you suggest? #bettergaymusicstars RT @almostfancy: Ricky Martin must have been REALLLLLY desperate for some media attention. RT @pulsejfk: Another great list for you. 50 things you learn after living in NYC for 15 years - http://pulsejfk.com/HRk // This amused me. RT @Jamberta: #JustinBeaver // Do I even want to know? *giggles* "beaver" My silver shoes made delightful squishy sounds as I ran from JR’s to McPherson Square metro. #prettymuchsoaked @DupontDan Be careful. I hear that they bite…and some are poisonous. If you happen to be whining about the rain, remember how much more painful work is when it’s beautiful out. Happy "Bring Your Flask To Work" Day! Oh hell, that’s every Monday. Have a great one y’all! I got dirty looks as I lost 10 lbs of water weight doing cardio at the gym. Hello people! That’s the point! @slummymummy9 Sorry. I should tag them #NSFL next time. I blame @michaelmuller. Ya gotta admit they’re compelling reasons to stay single. @SoCalMeeka Shh! Don’t tell anyone I’m secretly a poetry writing, flower loving, bunny-boiling romantic! @whosthatgirl2 I wish you a fabulous day as well! @Mike1433 YOU get a pass, my friend. Whine away! @snoopysnowcone @John_Irvine Bright light! Bright light! #zhuzhupets @slummymummy9 The lucky guy is Spongebob. My tweet about my BF was slightly misleading, though not intentionally. @John_Irvine @chrisbarrondc You’re Internet famous now. I saw this on South Park once. You can make money off of this. @DCdebbie That’s putting the ‘Ho’ in ‘Keeping the Sabbath Holy’. #walkofshame RT @poetruberson: @bobalouie check out my twitter page you inspiration you! // Very nice! I would recommend gummi bears also for some color. If I ever have children I’ll need an incentive to keep them alive. Like, "one year=a plant" or something. Beneath my calloused, syphilitic exterior is a malfunctioning Teddy Ruxpin waiting to give you nightmares. I am convinced that I was Cleopatra in a former life. I have a thing for ass. I mean asps. What is the problem with the Metro Police and their insistence that I keep my pants on while riding public transportation? @Jamberta That’s super cute. It’s also strangely appropriate. +_* RT @yococomo: http://twitpic.com/1bsmyh - @bobalouie Jealous??? // No this isn’t a Sharpie in my pocket. I’m happy to see you. The bartender’s name is Maye East. Her father had a thing for Mae West. How hot is that? @whosthatgirl2 Bon giorno, principesa! I wanted to tweet some more phallus jokes but I think I’ve milked them for all they’re worth. @ELJefe843 What are you, an animal? I bet you wash your face *before* conditioning too, don’t you?

Posted in: Lifestream Comments(0) Monday, March 29th, 2010

Daily Digest for 2010-03-28

Posted by Richard Mankhey

10:47pm

rmankhey posted 46 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @SoCalMeeka Sunflowers are my favorite flower ever! Also the Kansas state flower. #kansasfarmboy Carl Edwards is reason #99 to watch NASCAR. #comeonbabydrivemycar @mtclmbr1450 Do you now?!?! RT @aliholden: @bobalouie yes on the pina colada. Rum is actually considered a fruit in the Holden Household #asgodintended @aliholden You said ‘grody’! Lol. Haven’t heard that word since used in conjunction with ‘cooties’. @BXGD LMAO. Hey I do have a can of sweet corn in the pantry. And water chestnuts. @takeahuyck Good for you! @DupontDan I liked "kegs" better. It rings truer. Ooookay. Just saw a girl squatting to do #1 outside the Metro. I can die a disgusted man. @suicide_blond Exactly. When the lady doth protest too much, I smell a rat. @slummymummy9 No doubt, Betty Crocker! A starling pecks at // a chicken bone. Could this be // cannibalism? #haiku @takeahuyck I know right? I think I like NASCAR. @DCBrent @aliholden You’re so sexy when you be #fistpumpin‘ @Diane_Can *giggles* You’re right! Maybe I should get him first. Sara can wait. @BeachBarista Lol! Wait…now *I’m* confused! @aliholden A karaoke request. Any song you like, I will sing for you, and only you. Oh nothing. Just fashioning a healthy stool sample out of Play-Doh. @takeahuyck *Almost* but not quite. Brandon Flowers is adorable. @kdawg1313 Well thanks for enlightening me! I saw a woman with a sign on the metro and it piqued my curiosity. Yes, please. Bring your bachelorette parties to Town. We love vagina. @aliholden I do. They’re breeding inside me as I tweet. The cabbie has a penchant for Diana Ross. Awesome. @Jase11 Ha! I thought of you when I saw it. Richard Gere also crossed my mind. I just spent the most amazing 4 hours with my BFF Nora from college. She was my make-out bud-ette. Did I say "was"? @aliholden It’s different if it’s you. #justsayin @mtclmbr1450 I will eat pretty much anything. That is not an innuendo. It’s the truth. @DupontDan I know. And I ate every morsel. I’m at high risk for foodborne illness. Jeff Gordon is kind of a douche. @SoCalMeeka There ain’t nothin better than "movin’ my hips like, ‘yeah’…noddin’ my head like, ‘yeah’"… I love Junior Mints. They fit perfectly in my nostils. @SoCalMeeka Hey babe! What assistances are you referring to? @cway1979 An assage is a buttock-centric massage. P.S. Thanks for the ReTweet. I’ve learned that if it goes out of its way to say it’s "Fancy", it’s actually anything but. @takeahuyck Happy to help a brotha out! #vominducingpics I want Sara Bareilles and Matt Nathanson to have babies. Then I want to have babies with Matt. Who is Mike Green? Apparently someone came all the way from Calgary to see him. Omg. Someone stop me. CVS has Zhu Zhu Hamsters. And their skateboards too! RT @aliholden: @bobalouie I knew it #bobacootie // Ha! You just got 950 bonus points for that. I’m tempted to pull a name change. @takeahuyck I’m still burping blood. @ELJefe843 This world is kinder to those who choose not to look back. @herrygilly I said "as rare as the CDC will allow" and I got it. When you order a rare burger at Bailey’s pub in Ballston they don’t mess around. They also don’t cook it: http://twitgoo.com/m2h37 Watching the REM video for "Man on the Moon". Michael Stipe is kinda cute in a cowboy hat. A piña colada is considered a serving of fruit right? Maybe even two servings?

Posted in: Lifestream Comments(0) Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Daily Digest for 2010-03-27

Posted by Richard Mankhey

	7:11pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard is going to see how running 16 miles feels. He’s terribly optimistic isn’t he?
	10:52pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard smells like a Cranberry Vanilla Cake c/o his new lotion. If you’re hungry, keep far away.
	11:26pm	rmankhey posted 101 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @JeremyHawking Oh, hello stranger. Long time no tweet. I missed you. @DistrictOfAris I already clog the toilet the way it is. Just like Cartman. It’s #neveragoodlook @whosthatgirl2 NUTella? Mmmmhmmmm. @jesserker God bless Ben Gay. And assages. #mylegshateme @SoCalMeeka Um…what are you pulling out exactly? @chrisbarrondc RT @Nock4Six: I really can’t think of anything to say. So…um…bring on the jäger!!!! // Bonus points for the diaeresis. @g3rd80 Ha! Thanks. How was Ben Folds? And what are you up to this evening? @whosthatgirl2 Sweet dreams, princess. Dream of gazelles and run like one tomorrow! <3 RT @John_Irvine: @bobalouie Funniest thing ever? Clearly you haven’t seen me naked. // …and what exactly are we waiting for? @JeremyHawking I have not stalked your Facebook page recently. I will remedy this now. In practice, free phalluses are dangerous. @jpjaramillo Maybe the aftertaste…but that primary zest you experience when nomming a Girl Scout is definitely fowl. @John_Irvine It’s not the healthiest route but anorexia and bulimia served me well in the past. There’s a halo around the moon. It’s gonna rain…eventually. Hey! I should be a Weather Guy! @DistrictOfAris Wikapedia it, Mr. Smarty Pants. It’s also called a diaresis. Umlaut doesn’t apply to all Latin vowels. @ScottinStep Thanks! I was just curious. Looks interesting! "Matchmaking with a twist" sounds kinda kinky. RT @Diane_Can: @bobalouie ‘course, then-again, I just misspelled "sober" so maybe I’m not. // Ha! I love it. You’re allowed to cut loose! @HerCuteness How ’bout a million and one? *smoochies* My dreams will come true when "Party in the USA" comes to karaoke…& when Freddie Prinze Jr. returns my calls. @boogdogDC I think Sarah Michelle is screening his phone calls. What a betch. @ScottinStep Mixology, eh? Interesting name for a dating site. The site isn’t working for some reason. RT @MarioSemiglia: Met @bobalouie my life is complete // Hey! You stole my line, except I was gonna switch the names around! @aliholden I’m happy to hear that! <3 <3 <3 RT @zombiesalert: @bobalouie Zombies Alert - Zombies last tweeted by Richard W. Mankhey This is the end // Omg. You bots won’t lemme be! Phalluses are not known for their listening ability. @John_Irvine My people are always accepting applications. I can put in a good word or 7 for you. @kdawg1313 Jersey’s are the most beautiful, in my opinion. @jpjaramillo You have no idea! Mmmm…Girl Scouts…. @MattyCDC I was thinking it could be a separate massage service just for the booty. To assuage tension and muscle soreness. @kdawg1313 Your mom FTW!!!! @Diane_Can I’m marvelous, thank you. I had an adventursome evening myself. Don’t tell my legs but I’m going for a 16 mile run later. #shhh @John_Irvine I’m not sure if there’s a special school for gays…I would start with watching a lot of soap operas and Tyra Banks shows. I hear that Girl Scouts taste like chicken. @kdawg1313 Yes! My Boy Scout sewing badge will finally be redeemed! #denimmurse @sianyrobinson I will send you a picture, darling! @whosthatgirl2 Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, dearie? @whosthatgirl2 Just remember this: "Run faster! Zombies are chasing you!" @boogdogDC @chrisbarrondc Oh boys! @tammyphinney Simple, yet elegant. @A_Peabody Here you are talking about my ass and I’m not even following you? Double U, Tee, Eff? Christmas songs have been threatening to get stuck in my head all day. Someone pass the Insane Clown Posse, plz. @John_Irvine It’s not worth it. I love you just the way you are. @KimW16 I call shenanigans. Somebody’s offering favors to the local law enforcement. RT @pockettpatrick: Against my will. (@ Freddie’s Beach Bar) http:// 4sq.com/56yC5V // *snorts* RT @OpinionMinion: @bobalouie I have the same opinion… // Well if you’re thinking like ME than you have problems. Since bleaching my mohawk white and shaving the sides of my head last night I’ve only made 3 babies cry. #fail @Chugs07 I had a #slumbermess on the metro back to Vienna after running into my fave Cap City Brew Co bartender George. Fell asleep. Lol Are there any #slumbermesses planned for the evening? Lol @MichaThom That’s right, Michael. You *are* my pants. @DCBrent @Chugs07 Time to smear some Cranberry Vanilla Cake lotion on my feets (both of them) and go for a long run. BBL! @kdawg1313 That’s my farm girl! It’s good to find kindred hick spirits. *grins* @camsmg It’s still a ‘hawk, Precious. It’s just a lot lighter and more feelable on the sides. How can that be unapprovable? @extraspecial Ha! I had the same thought! Poor bastards. I think it was a Lexus, too. @kdawg1313 Your mom sounds almost as cool as my mom. No! It’s a tie! @SuDeepe @aliholden Thanks for the compliment! Glad to give you some giggles. @Jamberta I was out running today and saw 2 Elders riding their bikes and I waved at them. They are always so cute! @A_Peabody Flirting has been known to lead to pregnancy. RT @whosthatgirl2: http://twitpic.com/1bdfst - My son and his catch of the day #goodkid // Hot! The fish is nice, too. Screw hanky codes. I just hum Lady Gaga. @Chugs07 But then think of all the Chugsies we’d have!! @DCBrent Clive Barker is sending me Facebook message spam. I smell a hacker. @SoCalMeeka With you around I won’t have any trouble with that! See? @A_Peabody The intended usage is to describe a very targeted massage. RT @Krud: Note to self: Turn on some lights before Earth Hour in order to provide more meaningful contrast. Oriental Trading Company wants all my money. I’m afraid they just might get it. @Diane_Can It is at 8, & I’m riding the Metro. Omg! I gotta get off! My 16 miler was awesome. I still can’t imagine doing a marathon. Squirrels have been nomming my hydrangeas. This means WAR! Wait, I don’t have any hydrangeas. @whosthatgirl2 I was trying to motivate you, not petrify you! #anotherfail @jesserker @DCBrent IguanaDonnaMartinsaurus!!! http://bit.ly/aaG7NW Funniest thing ever. I just saw a Uhaul truck towing a car down I-66 & the car’s alarm was going off all the way. Lulz. @jonesy77 But of course! Not sure how long I’ll stay, but I’m definitely stopping by! @ScottinStep Just saw your tweet about a ride. Thank you, I’m home already. You are marriage material, my friend. @kdawg1313 You just got 1000 times cooler! #giddyup @A_Peabody BTW, they *will* need a lot of room for my ass…words. @John_Irvine Yes, but not in the state of Maine. @chrisbarrondc I bleached the eff out of it last night. @SoCalMeeka I’m sorry. I’ll stop sitting on you. #whitemankeepingyoudown @jesserker It is seriously hot. Well done! @matthewarchman You have the the most interesting tweets. It’s a good thing! @SoCalMeeka This is a joke right? Um…because…oh I give up! Criminy! My mind is slipping. I’ve forgotten the speed of light in meters per second. @DupontDan I’ll need to do a little stretching first. Just a little. @Chugs07 The only thing I can do with starfishes is rip them to pieces and wait for them to regenerate. @DCBrent The highlight of my evening was a passionate conversation about Fiber One cereal. *sighs* @A_Peabody Yes, I think we’re both pretty safe. @chrisbarrondc http://tweetphoto.com/15970062 RT @SoCalMeeka: @bobalouie Is assalogical a word? // It is now! I’m calling Webster’s Dictionary! RT @Jamberta: I will not be drinking beer tonight. // Don’t look now, but a Mormon has hacked your Twitter account. @BeachBarista Actually it is! If pronounced "ass-idge" as opposed to "ass-odge". Why doesn’t Bud Light come in those cute little 6 ounce kid sizes? @whosthatgirl2 Good luck in the race tomorrow! Run like the wind! As soon as I start feeling like a Million-Dollar-Bill I’m friggin’ selling myself on E-Bay. I don’t speak whale, but my cow is pretty good. #farmboy @DCBrent @Chugs07 My Facebook status is currently about starfish. My favorite jeans have finally bit the big one. Can I flush them down the toilet like a dead goldfish? Is "assage" a word? Green Lantern tonight (14th and L St. NW, DC) everyone. Come on down! Good times. I will be playing pool in my underwear. Big, ugly bald dude // Metroing with a Lucky // Charms shirt on. Sexy. // #haiku RT @slummymummy9: Yes. We are *that* family. The one who annoys everyone else in the restaurant. http://yfrog.com/9d1e2j // Ha ha ha ha! @SuDeepe I forgot your Gmail password. Please DM me so I can wreak havoc on the Interwebz. *smooch* Garbage disposals scare the living crap out of me. Why do horror movies always use that crap tactic?

Posted in: Lifestream Comments(0) Saturday, March 27th, 2010

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