One Side Will Make You Taller

Daily Digest for 2010-03-10

Richard Mankhey — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

12:48pm

rmankhey updated their status on Facebook.

Richard wonders is camo is considered "trendy business casual".

Daily Digest for 2010-03-09

Richard Mankhey — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

8:25am

rmankhey posted a tweet on Twitter.

@matthewarchman I think you mean ‘pentagram’. It’s only representative of evil when a star point is aiming downwards.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-08

Richard Mankhey — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

5:28am

rmankhey posted 32 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details)

@USFBull82 I can die a happy guy. #redrum
@JBizzleRox @USFBull82 You crazy, mayo-loving cats! #meow
Molly Ringwald looks coked up.
@jonesy77 Bollocks! I was in a ballad-belting mood too!
@USFBull82 Ketchup Salad Dressing means running a few extra miles. #itsworthit #highfructosecornsyrup
RT @OneFineJay: The best visual effects award goes to the film with the biggest bankroll.
RT @MichaThom: @bobalouie the Guy in front of me at the fro yo place got gummie bears, and thought of you. // I’m obsessed a ‘lil.
I’ll have to see "The New Tenants". #gaypeopledancing
@MarkDC Thanks Marky-Mark! It’s weird that we share 25% of our DNA. Poor girl.
@A_Ron_The_DJ I hope by ’singular’ you aren’t inferring ’singularity’ and thus ‘black hole’. @jonesy77
@MichaThom While you’re at it, ketchup, gummi bears & candy corn! #sugarho @USFBull82
@DCBrent I know. I totally Bogarted his tweet. I’m unoriginal like that. @DupontDan
RT @DCBrent: Interpretive dance? Are you kidding me?
RT @RUFuckinKidinME: @bobalouie Are you fucking kidding me? // Lol. What the effing crap is that about?
@USFBull82 Oh you–you complete me, you know. You and ketchup, that is.
Cute overload! My new niece Aleigha Evelyn: http://twitgoo.com/jzjt3
@Jamberta *giggles* Well we were, but we parted ways an hour ago to catch the Metro n’ stuff. @USFBull82
@jonesy77 Are you at Green Lantern tonight?
Sandy, the lipstick is luminescent. It’s a good look.
@DCBrent We’ll upload them to Xtube. @USFBull82
Who’s the most awesomest Oscar watching-partner? @USFBull82 is.
Molly Ringwald is also Cleopatra. That is all.
@jonesy77 I thought so, Mr. Jones. I will ass-ume from here on out.
Who are they? #oscars
@DCBrent OMG somebody warn Hollywood! #Carrie
The Swedish Fish are getting cranky. Must be bedtime. Good night, y’all!
Just watching the Oscars w/ @USFBull82. (@ Crew Club w/ @usfbull82) http://4sq.com/6iu8gE
I love the attention, but please don’t boil my bunny.
@INAHAM730 I know my drugs. It’s definitely Midol. Coked up on Midol.
RT @JBizzleRox: @bobalouie @USFBull82 I have that kinda relationship with mayo. Haha. // Joey loves mayo. How coincidental! #whitestuff
The only thing that would make me watch the Oscars is a guaranteed "Carrie" moment.
Didja’ll see that? "Twilight" clips rolled during the "horror movie" montage. told ya so.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-07

Richard Mankhey — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	4:35pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard is intoxicated by the smell of Spring in the air.
	11:16pm	rmankhey posted 45 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @jesserker Short skirts? Me to! High 5 gurl! @ELJefe843 @DCJono Apparently, girls just wanna have fun. Thank you for that memo. I’m so gonna do a trolley tour of DC today. Why not? I’m downtown with nothing to do. A waitress just told me I had a "juicy butt". I need to wipe more thoroughly next time. @MarioSemiglia Aww, Mario. There’ll be plenty of more gorgeous days just for you. @Diane_Can Earthquakes?!? Weirdos I can handle, but not those! @DCJason Are you still thinking about doing the Nat’l Hal-Marathon? @DCbigpappa Of course! Cobalt wasn’t the best place for it. wink Screw St. Patrick’s Day. IMA get my crunk on for Pi day (3/14). @slummymummy9 He’s just jealous. Come to think of it, so am I. #silpada @Shermin8tor I’d pay money to see you dance around like that. Wait, you’re over 18, right? @chrisbarrondc I think I’ll be good. But I’ll check in with you tomorrow. Lol @chrisbarrondc Ain’t nobody puts the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional’ like family. @JuanluisPG Oh, he’s good-natured about it. He only charges them $15. @MichaThom …and you are crazy! But it’s okay. I still heart you. @DCbigpappa I can always count on you for some 80’s lyrics! hug Michael the Playbill bartender wants y’all to know the bathroom is for customers only, thank you. @matthewarchman I did, sweetie. I say go for the CVS job and get a boyfriend while you’re at it. @KimW16 Oh snap! It’s just my customary Stride of Pride weekend brunch with beer & philosophical convos with Bartender George. RT @jesserker: it means FREE BALLIN @ELJefe843 & @DCJono we can buy you a kilt/skirt/short-shorts anytime you want. field trip! / I’m down! @SugarBoobs Some swamp ass is hotter than others. @DCJono www.sportkilt.com @jesserker @eljefe843 @JuanluisPG I totally agree. I would be wearing flip-flops too, but not until I get a pedi & a fab paint job on my toenails. @JuanluisPG That’s totally acceptable. Okay, so who would YOU throw your panties at? Sex Bomb: http://twitgoo.com/fynb5 I have an irrational fear of croutons. @JuanluisPG Whatever form of explosive it may be, isn’t he just dreamy? throws panties #tomjones @ELJefe843 Bon giorno, principesa! @chrisbarrondc @extraspecial I’m from Kansas. Bestiality is a way of life. @RocketmanDC Happy Birfday, baby! @DCJason Awesome. I finally signed up yesterday. What’s your qualifying race? I’m fearful the weather will go from pleasant to sweaty butt-crack sweltering before we know it. "I’ll stop the world and melt with you (like the Nazis in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’)" Dear Straight Bartender: Calling me ’sweetie’ will not get you a bigger tip. Wait…yes it will. Love, Richard I love bed head. @KimW16 Good call, sweet-stuff. Just putting the ‘ho’ in the Holy Sabbath. @ELJefe843 Not me. You can only get so naked & still be miserable. @jesserker George the Bartender just referred to 90’s music as ‘retro’ & he’s right. @extraspecial ‘Cuz ya know…people’s feet are so sexy. Gimme more. @jesserker I also have a kilt. #youknowwhatthatmeans @ELJefe843 @DCJono @jesserker You need to teach me how to shop. It makes me break out in hives. @DCJono @eljefe843 George the Bartender says his girlfriend just moved to California. Awww. tear Time to make my move. I sometimes wish George the Bartender actually charged me for beers because I’ve suddenly lost count… @DCBrent I hate to say it, but it’s true. I’m easy. Tourists in flip flops…I hope the get eaten by an escalator. The tourists–not the flip flops. That’d be cruel.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-06

Richard Mankhey — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	10:19pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard finally signed up for the March 20th Nat’l Half-Marathon and to celebrate, just ran 13 miles in 1 hr 45 min. Hey, you’d be bragging too.
	11:50pm	rmankhey posted 62 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) You know that Pink song "Funhouse"? She wrote it about gay bars. #fullofevilclowns @Jamberta Oh honey that is good advice. Where were you last year when I needed you? #istillhavescarsdownthere If there were a screening process for karaoke nobody would ever be able to sing. Guy on the metro was not impressed when I asked to trade shoes. Mine are better than his anyway. @MarioSemiglia I will never learn. Gentleman: Let’s say I want to shave something other than my face. Are 5 blades more effective or more likely to cause massive hemorrhaging? You know your hungry when the sight of a half-eaten wing on the Metro platform makes you salivate. Hmmmm… @MichaThom There are a few Cher look-a-like contests in my past. Plasticine robots in my closet, if you will. @yococomo Unless it’s an ice skating rink. @Jamberta Once. I learned my lesson. @blobbybirdman I’d hit on you in a heartbeat. I’m glad you’re cool about it. We gays have good taste, you know. @WBeditor @boogdogDC If you don’t stop being so amazing ima have to propose ‘n stuff. So quit it. 4 real. #everythingfail @John_Irvine Mmmm….Bollocks….and chips. @jpjaramillo Oh all right then. RT @Jamberta: Me: Do you know your undies are on inside out and backwards? Jamie: Yes I like it this way. @bobalouie // Yer boy has style! @jesserker Oh but it did. I misrepresented myself. My apologies. RT @philo_quotes: Well-ordered self-love is right and natural. ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas // "Self-Love"? Um… @John_Irvine I was considering just using the sharp, glassy edge of a broken wine bottle. #manlymanintights @KimW16 I wasn’t aware of those stickers, but I think the rest of the world is more enlightened. @boogdogDC @DCdebbie I hate to intrude…but…why is getting laid so important? @Chugs07 Remind me to send you some of me dressed as Alice in Wonderland from Halloween last year. @ELJefe843 I would if I knew any. @joceffvan I’m in Virginia. @boogdogDC More befudling words have never been spoken. @Jamberta Will do! smooch @KimW16 It’s the naming convention for Bible chicks. "Lot’s wife"…"Noah’s wife"…is God misogynistic? @Chugs07 Fake it ‘ @jesserker Yep. Much to my chagrin. It happens to the best of us…but I wouldn’t know what that’s like. Bollocks. @KimW16 I may or may not have Bogarted that orphaned, half-eaten wing. #nomnomnom I wonder what the return policy is for a mail-order husband. Noah was the original cat lady. @boogdogDC It’s a little known fact that tildes are an aphrodisiac. @joceffvan You’re half right. wink So you’re in the Philippines, right? RT @WBeditor: @bobalouie @blobbybirdman I’m glad you’re cool about it. \| Refreshing, isn’t it? // Too refreshing. #ifyouknowwhatimean @bobalouie Thanks, Chad-ster. @John_Irvine Don’t you judge me! #marshamarshamarsha @John_Irvine I was playing stupid. I thought Tom was great, fat suit and all! Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve always crushed on Ben Stiller. @blobbybirdman I would recommend a healthy dose of Cher and some "Will & Grace" & call me in the morning. Or right now. I’m free. I think I got a little sunburned during the almost 2 hours I was outside today. #albinonomore @DCdebbie A-ha. I’m no innocent, but I’m not as adventurous as I wish I were. Sorry. Just curious. @boogdogDC @DCJono She was kinda hot on "Hey Dude" now that you mention it. @John_Irvine @chrisbarrondc Spanks a lot! The best part is I can still walk. Tomorrow might be a different story. :-/ @cubby1978 I’m on 4square’s side. @foursquare I’m ever the loser in "Clean Laundry Pile Bingo". My socks never match. When the Metro bus ads are talkin’ ’bout Woodstock (’69) you know it’s time for an upgrade. @John_Irvine Tom Cruise? I thought that was Robert Downey Jr. I get all my Hollywood junkie/crazies mixed up. @boogdogDC Oh lawdy…well that 13 mile run used up about 1,656 calories. I’d say my blood sugar is negative at this point. #grammarpolice @MichaThom Hedgeclippers might be more appropriate. @John_Irvine I’ll lop of his appendages to save on shipping. I’ll pay a "damaged goods fee" but it’ll be worth it. @matthewarchman In love? That’s wonderful! Who’s the lucky guy? @boogdogDC No. It’s from personal experimentation. #ifyouknowwhatimean @Chugs07 chuckles Those Brits…always so clever because they’re always so intoxicated. @boogdogDC You’ve got eagle eyes, Boogie. I’ll take your Alphabet Soup advice as long as it comes with apostrophes. So I finally signed up for the March 20th Half-Marathon. To celebrate I just ran 13 miles in 1 hr 45 min. Hey, you’d be bragging too. @Jamberta I’ll be right here waiting for you. Until I see something bright and shiny, then it’s tough luck, sistah! I found some wigs from my drag queen days; I’m having way too much fun trying them on and swishing about. Somebody please stop me. @joceffvan So many personal questions! Let me DM you, darling. @KimW16 I think they do call Mary Magdelene "that one ho" in the King James version. @matthewarchman What are you waiting for? Go get ‘im!

Daily Digest for 2010-03-05

Richard Mankhey — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	6:59pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard secretly dreams of becoming a ninja one day (guess it’s not so secret anymore, is it?).
	9:59pm	rmankhey posted 53 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @DCbigpappa Have we had an #80sFriday before? What about a #90sFriday? @John_Irvine You know, as much as ‘American Psycho’ excites me, I would have to go for ‘The Machinist’. We need a catfight between Alanis Morissette and Scarlet Johannson. Get on that, girls. @sianyrobinson That’d be putting the ‘Work’ in ‘Not Safe For Work’, eh? @slummymummy9 @John_Irvine @genstarr <3 <3 <3 I knew I loved y’all before I met you. I mean that. @jesserker Thanks, gorgeous, though I prefer to think of myself as a lukewarm mess. Correct me if I’m wrong. PRO TIP: When creating a password, make it long & hard & easy to remember. RT @slummymummy9: Mini- Tweet Up - http://tumblr.com/xl9730sc5 // I love this. You nailed it perfectly, & I can’t wait to do it again! My phone Twitter app told me it was loading ‘tweets’ but I thought it said ‘tweefs’ & it made me giggle. #easilyamused The only things I can contribute to this conversation are ignorance and apathy. RT @davesilverstone: @bobalouie have you ever thought you twitter too much? // The answer, Dave Marie, is a resounding YES. @chrisbarrondc Exponentially, it would seem. They’re scraping the bottom of the maple syrup pail at this point. @chrisbarrondc Come on over and have some of the Guacamole ones I bought yesterday. I only ate half the can. @DCJono @boogdogDC I prefer to cultivate an air of mystery. Is it working? RT @Jamberta: @bobalouie @MarthaStewart I want a Singer Confidence Sewing Machine! // Me too! Wait, wha…? @DCbigpappa Absolutely! I don’t think I could play favorites with the 80s vs the 90s. @chrisbarrondc For realz. Especially since she’s played God in a movie and Scar-Jo is usually a whiny, primped poutress. @davesilverstone Let me introduce you to my good friend, @Jamberta. I’m reticent by comparison. @jesserker Umm…’tepid’ perhaps? poof @chrisbarrondc I find making the decision easy enough….it’s just putting into action I find challenging. @boogdogDC "…a beautiful f**ed up man"? @ELJefe843 Ha! Good morning, hoser. @jonesy77 As I suspected. I will try to stop by…if I make it into the city. @boogdogDC That song made me fall in love with Sarah McLachlan. @chrisbarrondc Pringles are delish but I can resist. Candy corn will be my downfall. @DCJono @Jamberta Too cute! Thanks for letting me know. I won’t enter so that your chances of winning are better. wink* @jonesy77 Bonjour, Jonesy-pants! @Yidago I saw that tweet first. Step off. @m1key_m00n @chrisbarrondc Physically, fantastic; mentally, detached and contemplative. I think I’m close to an epiphany. How ’bout you? @lwilcher I bet you say that to all the guys. @jonesy77 I can feel something electric in the air. Something exciting, indeed. Doing anything special tonight? RT @jonesy77: Severe Tourist Warning from the National Tourist Alert Center: http://wp.me/pLM4D-co // LOL. I wish it were a joke. Where I come from, the word ’season’ behind anything means you can shoot it. #touristseason #shoottokill @jesserker Kinda like you, babycakes. #toocuteforwords Dear Colleagues: Meetings are pointless. We’d accomplish more playing naked leapfrog. Love, Richard Choose Your Own Adventure: http://i.imgur.com/wIXWX.png @DCJono @chrisbarrondc I want blood. RT @g3rd80: @Chugs07 http://wtfjeans.com/ @wtfjeans // Those are cute but(t) I doubt I could find a pair that would accommodate my booty. @John_Irvine Yep. Thin-as-a-rail-Bale. I’m probably just envious. Yabba Dabba Do! I’m so gone. BBL @jesserker http://bit.ly/bpq45w @DCbigpappa "…and every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it. Well can you feel it?!" @jesserker I have to admit, he is the Leader in his field in that department. @DrGatewood A constant source of tweetspiration (the voices…): http://twitgoo.com/ftqb6 @chrisbarrondc Now you know another one of my secrets. #candycorn @DCJono I should be getting ready for work, but look! A unicorn: http://twitgoo.com/fta51 If you think less of me because I once found Mel Gibson somewhat yummy, well then screw you too. @chrisbarrondc Here here! As far as Quality Control on Canadian exports goes, who let Justin Beiber out anyway? @ELJefe843 Bootylicious! How be you? Metro Bus Game #46: Everytime the bus curb-checks, consume 1 fl oz of alcohol. What’s that noise? perks up ears Oh! It’s the Peanut Gallery! @DrGatewood @jesserker @DCJono Well, @John_Irvine tells me that, in general, gay men love ketchup. Intriguing insight, no? @chrisbarrondc

Daily Digest for 2010-03-04

Richard Mankhey — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

11:44pm

rmankhey posted 151 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details)

An earthquake w/ a magnitude of 6.4 hits Taiwan? http://bit.ly/cqhheq Holy crap, Californians, I’d be scared if I were you.
@Chugs07 I like Disney flicks up until around Aladdin or Lion King. Anything after that is pretty much ‘meh’. @DCJono
@KimW16 Just when I thought my Get It Girl shorts couldn’t get any more fabulous.
@zachx I have a change purse. And a sparkly wallet. It’s okay to be jealous.
@Jamberta Yes, it’s Ben’s new baby. 5 lb 6oz of slimy cuteness! Mom’s a Grandma now. @SuDeepe
@DCBrent You and my brother would get along very well.
@DCJono Alice In Wonderland has always been my favorite book. And Disney character. And Halloween costume choice. @Chugs07
It’s gonna be a good day when you wake yourself up yelling BINGO!!!
@DistrictOfAris Enjoy yourself thoroughly!
@chrisbarrondc Yes, those are so good! Have you ever had Ketchup-flavored chips (from Canada, those weirdos)?
@USFBull82 ROFL! I hadn’t considered that repercussion; thank you for stopping me in the nick of time!
Anyone know where I can get Gift Certificates for electroshock therapy?
@KimW16 Hot! I love it. Omgosh I gotta watch that movie like, right now.
@snoopysnowcone I’ll say no, then. (But the crying and sad part was very well done).
@kdawg1313 Before I met you I was reading yours in the voice of Janeane Garaffalo (sp?).
@ScottinStep Is this the *real* Scott or are you trying to phish me with that sexy website?
@DCBrent If they didn’t care about you they wouldn’t want you to get your head shocked. Right?
RT @SuDeepe: @bobalouie we are at the hospital ashley is having c-section right now. Baby soon! // Twitpic or it didn’t happen.
@Andrew703 "Vajazzling" was a large part of my lunch discussion with my Mktg gurls yesterday.
@LegalMoose I am not Gordon Freeman, though sometimes I wish I were.
@John_Irvine …and I’m daft. What are you quoting? #toolazytogooglewhileonmyphone
@JosieDC I believe ‘BBL’ represents a longer, indeterminate absence & ‘BRB’ is indicative of a shorter time away, like a bathroom break.
@slummymummy9 I knew I could count on you! Bring ‘em to dinner tomorrow.
@ChuckGT You assume correctly.
@JosieDC I’ve seen the Sundried Tomato ones, but not the others you mentioned. @Jase11 @kdawg1313 @MarkDC @chrisbarrondc
@slummymummy9 As well he should be. I gave all my roofies to Mom, anyway. @SuDeepe @genstarr @john_irvine
@USFBull82 I RTed you because #teachersideeye made me LOL on the bus and I got a #homelessguysideeye.
@MarkDC Outfit to Belt: "You complete me". Lol. @lwilcher
RT @Chugs07: OMG Major Emergency at work BBL!!!! // Is it *that* much of an emergency if you have time to tweet about it?
@lwilcher Thank ya, sweet talker.
@Djewelle Oh no! I’m so sorry babe! Need me to beat up on anyone for you?
@slummymummy9 @genstarr @john_irvine FYI: If y’all look like your pictures I’m gonna walk right out on ya. #blinddate #tweetup
@Jase11 Holy crap that sounds good. Why can’t the USA be a little more culinarily adventurous? @chrisbarrondc
@KimW16 It is absolutely true. The fact that he was a Pier One manager lends him EXTRA credibility.
@KimW16 Your voice is Jennifer Tilly’s.
@DistrictOfAris Have you started drinking already, sweetie?
@declutteryou Just checkin’! I’d love to borrow your box.
@KimW16 I call you correct!!
@ChuckGT Good advice, bro.
@DCBrent Awwww. It’s funny cuz it’s true!
@INAHAM730 ‘Unhealthy’ is deep fried food. Weighing yourself every few hours is only slightly unusual.
Screw ergonomic. Bring on the ergoerotic!
Guacamole Pringles look like they’re made from baby poo: http://twitgoo.com/frrpj
@KimW16 You’re a high-functioning nut. The best kind! With a penchant for singing too. You go girl.
@zachx Okay I’m not *that* bad,
This whole ‘wooing Google’ for high-speed Interwebz is crazy. Like any geek all they want is porn, caffeine & edibles.
@KimW16 I don’t own it either. What’s wrong with us?!
@snoopysnowcone You’re voice is Natasha Bedingfield’s. @slummymummy9
Happiness is: Having friends who can help file a TRO.
@DCJono Thank you! Now I can cross "Become Gay Uncle" off my Bucket List.
I am not impressed with this month’s Playgirl. Can I get my money back even though it’s slightly…used?
Barbie is the gateway drug to all her accessories (including boyfriends).
@DrGatewood Thank you, Dr. G! Doesn’t she look delicious? #nugget #bbqsauceplz
FYI: Shaking your phone violently will not unsend a DM you shouldn’t have sent in the first place.
@zachx You can have it @kdawg1313. I’m due for another trip to the dollar store anyway.
@KPCK Wow, really? Then heck, I’ll just keep the gift cards and use them for myself! #blindedmewithscience
RT @STFU_Ryan: My penis and your face need to have a meeting. // You looking?
@Diane_Can LOL. Yeah, I figured I was the only one.
@KimW16 True, but I like my toaster! It plays the Winnie the Pooh theme song when the toast is ready.
I have become friends with the Gold’s gym front desk girl, Yasmin. She gave me her number. Girls are so *cute* sometimes!
@LeonDusk Invitation To Tender?
@snoopysnowcone Of my bum? Sick!!! @slummymummy9
@joceffvan I’m great, thank you! I’m about to be an uncle for the 1st time. Once the C-section is over, how are you?
@matthewarchman On the Kinsey scale I’d say I’m left of center. Girls are attractive but they don’t give me butterflies.
The acoustics in my office bathroom are INCREDIBLE.
@KPCK Perhaps, but Virginia’s a commonwealth. I’m so confused!
@snoopysnowcone Don’t cry (or pout). But be jealous. Be very, very jealous. @slummymummy9
This night here look like it need more buttah on it.
@extraspecial They have 6 now.
@slummymummy9 Wait, I thought your name WAS Ruth.
Charm bracelet. #Alice http://twitgoo.com/frpkm
@JosieDC Especially cannibal guys and cannibal girls. #doyouhearthelambsclarice @DCJono
@slummymummy9 @genstarr @john_irvine Crap ladies, I forgot the name tags. Let’s just refer to each other with expletives. #tweetup
@KimW16 "Get it Girl"! ROFLMAO
I’ll start signing my work e-mails with "Have a BEDAZZLING day!" and see where it gets me.
How do you solve a problem like Maria? Exorcism! Or waterboarding…
RT @USFBull82: RT @bobalouie: Happiness is: Having friends who can help file a TRO. // that just made me LOL in class #teachersideeye
@INAHAM730 Not rascist. Just acting on prior experience.
@DCToddNow If you knew my brother you’d know there’s little more that I could do to help warp her. She’s a she and named Aleigha.
This tweet has been censored.
@KimW16 The only way it could be more shameful is if the dog is actually a girl.
Does anyone else read tweets in the voice of the person tweeting them? Or make a voice up?
@boogdogDC I know.
@Ryan_Please What kinda tool? I vote for jackhammer.
@KPCK Can’t say that I have. Maybe being Jabba’s love slave will do that to you.
Hello new followers! Would you like some Pringles? They’re Guacamole-flavored & I prefer Bacon Ranch.
No proposals so far today, but if I get any they’d damned well be better than the first two!
@KPCK Thank you. It seems they are (unless you are including ‘mental health’ in which case…).
I need Google Translate for any website ending in ".co.uk". Programme? Theatre? Huh???
RT @juliewertz11: I just found out that i am related to Carrie Underwood! // Please don’t key my car!!!
Can I sue my workplace for being terrorists because they didn’t give us Constitution Day (today) off?
RT @kelkel926: I need a swift kick in the you-know-what… yes, this is your invitation - kick my butt, please!!! // *kick* Better?
Angry glove does not approve: http://twitgoo.com/fryg5
@snoopysnowcone What if I said yes?
@Chugs07 Yes, it was. Being an abnoxious arsehole requires vigilance & I don’t take the task lightly.
@slummymummy9 I know *exactly* what you mean, Ruth.
This folder doesn’t exist, so why is it showing up in my Taskbar? Huh, Bill Gates? http://tweetphoto.com/13231737
MUST KILL GORDON FREEMAN…
@John_Irvine Oh sh*t, that’s right. The business card! Such a good movie. I don’t pleasure myself to it at all.
@KPCK My daily email from reference.com has been slipping me unreliable information. I am incensed.
@slummymummy9 Cinnamon it is. I also have Lemon, Strawberry & Cajun Spice Pepper Spray. #tweetup @genstarr @john_irvine
@Andrew703 Exactly. I’ve been trying to imagine a male equivalent ("Penazzling"?) but so far no luck.
RT @SuDeepe: She was very fresh here! http://twitgoo.com/fro85 // Aleigha, fresh outta the oven! She *does* have Ben’s forehead!
@KPCK Correct! Baby only, please no surgery images. Mom said she’ll be in the hospital until Sunday.
@Andrew703 Where would you put that, exactly?
@JBizzleRox Naw…just a spot of deja vu.
@INAHAM730 Lol. Aww…they’re not all that bad.
@DrGatewood Adam Levine is hardcore sexy but their songs all sound so much alike.
@kelkel926 I have a Cheshire Cat charm and all the Pooh characters as well. And Ariel (my 2nd favorite)! @Chugs07
@JosieDC In that case, just admit that you’re pleasuring yourself and we won’t have to wonder.
@lilwolf30 I know right? Yay! P.S. *Hugs* Stop being down or ima tickle you.
@JosieDC Crabcakes at McDonalds? I guess that makes sense.
@snoopysnowcone Glad you approve! You’re my feisty British chanteuse.
@boogdogDC Fear not, Boogie. I stand behind every single DM I send your way.
@TweakThaNurples "Ironically" enough she was playing at my gas station this morning. I got a little misty.
Got a Rubik’s Cube you desperately need to solve? You’re in luck: http://wrongway.org/cube/solve.html
RT @DCBrent: Okay then. http://twitpic.com/16mgrp // Make buttprints in the ‘assphalt’!
@KimW16 Know anything about the "Law of Attraction"? There are strange forces at work…
Minutiae will be the death of my co-workers.
RT @JosieDC: @Chugs07 whats BBL // It means Be Back Later
@genstarr @slummymummy9 @John_Irvine Okay y’all, what’s your favorite flavor of Pepper Spray? I’m preparing for tonight’s tweet-up.
@JBizzleRox Okay, you got me. I’ve run out of clever things to say and am now recycling tweets. #guilty
@INAHAM730 Probably not. That’s quite an assumption to make.
I want my new ringtone to be the sounds the guards make on Metal Gear when they spot you and get "!!!" above their heads.
@Chugs07 I’m just being a dick, as usual. Carry on!
@LegalMoose How awesome would that be? The headcrab is optional, I suppose.
@seamusandmaggie They are good, actually. I’ve never met a Pringle I didn’t like!
@John_Irvine LOL. I read your tweets in the voice of Christian Bale.
Internet culture is different than real, historical cultures.
@kdawg1313 I actually still kinda do read them with her voice. *giggles* It fits!
@Jase11 Awww…well there is that. Not much to do but keep on smiling! @MarkDC
@MarkDC *smooch*
@LeonDusk It was a NSFM tweet. Bob Dole was protecting my followers. @DCBrent
@INAHAM730 I know quite a few IRL but I’ve got some great voices for the others.
@snoopysnowcone You what?! Prepare to die! Aw, crap. @john_irvine
@USFBull82 Usually I splash on ‘Hai Karate’ aftershave ‘cuz no one ever gets close enough to warrant self-defense. @slummymummy9
@John_Irvine I’ve never *once* imagined I was one of those girls. It’s more like 194 times.
@Chugs07 *smooch*
@TweakThaNurples It’s a Catch 22, but you’re right; after 13 one actually begins to be be discriminate about music. Imagine!
@chrisbarrondc Pfft! Don’t be silly! I enjoy your tweets. Be happy you’re not as insane as some tweeps.
@SugarBoobs Smoochy smooches to you, Luv Muffin! *smack*
RT @philo_quotes: Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~ Confucius // My 2nd favorite quote. Ever.
@Chugs07 I do too! I just have no idea where it came from and it’s nowhere to be found except there.
"Watch Your Step" the sign says. Okay, but the other step is gonna get jealous if I play favorites.
I haven’t hear much outta Maroon 5 lately. Aw, sh*t, someone get me some wood, fast!
@KimW16 TOSTINOS!
@JosieDC Holy crap, CURRY PRINGLES? Sign me up, please.
@Jase11 It’s a defense mechanism you develop as a daily commuter. I’m sure they’re not all as grumpy as they look. @MarkDC
@snoopysnowcone I think I just realized why you’re looking for a six-fingered man. I can haz one too??? @john_irvine
If anyone asks me why I’m not wearing any pants, I’ll say I’m running late to the "No Pants Metro Ride" event.
@kdawg1313 Ha! Yep, they are cutting out indeed. Aleigha (the baby) was breach and doing some yoga so they decided it was best.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-03

Richard Mankhey — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	1:53pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard has posterior motives.
	10:01pm	rmankhey posted 154 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) RT @slummymummy9: Hubby: your shirt is see through. Me: yeah? Him: …. // You gonna wear it tomorrow on our tweetdate? Might get free beer! @John_Irvine That was the point at which I began to wonder if he wasn’t as crazy as I thought. @claddah76 Aiiie! I’ll stick to the ethanol! @herrygilly Yep. Turtle on a Spoon. 2nd in popularity to Soup on a Stick. @MarioSemiglia Nope. Not Miami. Kansas, here. Slight geographic separation. @jesserker Now that explains a lot. You missed your calling as a dominatrix. Octopuses have beaks. Chickens have beaks. Coincidence? Conspiracy? Discuss. @kdawg1313 First of all, mac & cheese for breakfast is profoundly cool. Pretending it’s slugs is just hellaciously awesome. You rock! @jesserker Gah! You got me. I’ll regale you sometime (and show you my magic undies). @chrisbarrondc Just a warning, but all of my pants might be at the cleaners that day. @DCJono What’s even freakier is someone was karaokeing that exact song when he asked me. I remember because the singer had no falsetto. It wasn’t a bad night for a long run. Those 16 York Peppermint Patties weren’t gonna metabolize themselves. @Ty_DC So "Alice" is this Friday. #squee Is there a special showing or Thursday preview? You’re always in the know. I love it when I see people sprint 3 blocks and are able to make the bus. #warmfuzzies Time to cuddle up with my Downy dryer sheets and dream about getting a sponge bath from Dwayne Johnson. G’night sexy tweeps! @ChuckGT Did your smartphone ride the short bus to school? Don’t tell my left buttock this, but my right buttock is my favorite. Dear Miley: Where is this so-called ‘Party in the USA’? Google Map directions, plz. Love, Richard @joceffvan The food always tastes better when you have to chase it down. That’s why I love kittens! There are no words: http://trololololololololololo.com/ If any of my followers wear Curve fragrances, please let me know so I can unfollow you ASAP. @A_Ron_The_DJ Whoa doggies. I am intrigued and slightly disturbed. I can’t wait to check out your set list! RT @JosieDC: @bobalouie #justsayno #highonlife // Thank you, Nancy Reagan. @ChuckGT "I’ve been a bad, bad girl…" @Chugs07 You can keep your "License Too Gay" (sic). "Josie & the Pussycats" is for extra credit only. @DCJono @jesserker @poetesss Yes, please! And thank you! @extraspecial It’s cute! You both chose wisely. #ifyouknowwhatimean @yococomo TY. It is. http://twitgoo.com/fov4g @boogdogDC Can you get a DUI in a wheelchair or motorized scooter? @MattyCDC I know better than that because I’m a fact-checker, myself. @joceffvan Sure thing! #drugsarebadmmkay @joceffvan I’ll happily accept your assistance. @JuanluisPG I’m happy to give you some risas! @bdgrlaw G’night! purrrrrrr @Jimbo3DC I’ll bring the cowbell. I have posterior motives. Being in shape means being able to sprint from DIK Bar to McPherson Square metro in 6 minutes to catch the last train home. @AdamIssac My pleasure, good looking. RT @StuffinMyBrain: I went to Google Kansas. I mean. I didn’t go to Google Kansas, but I Googled Kansans. Oh, never mind.. @Ty_DC That’s right! I’m sure you’ll have a blast! Are you planning on seeing it if it’s showing in Miami? @ChuckGT Ha! I thought so! I figured you for the type with a penchant for public nudity. @joceffvan I love the thrill of the chase…so to speak. RT @bdgrlaw: @bobalouie Oh good Champagne tastes on a koolaid budget // Love it love it love it! @chrisbarrondc Are you hiring? I cand send you my portfolio; or would an audition be desired? @ChuckGT Hasta la vista, Chuckie! @DCJono I found ways to spoof users on our old EVAX system and for some reason they didn’t enjoy fake viruses. It was all in fun! "Where’m I gonna hide the bodies now the freezer’s full…" What? It’s the latest song. I just wrote it. @ChuckGT Streaking is my favorite extracurricular activity! @Shermin8tor I just hope my supposed stamina can get me through the half-marathon on March 20th! Well that was a productive meeting. Check out my notes: http://tweetphoto.com/13123302 Crazy man also fought in Vietnam and says Osama Bin Laden is in Malaysia. @chrisbarrondc I’ve heard that running plain Coca Cola on your skin before tanning gives you better results. @Shermin8tor It’s a good thing the Chile earthquake quickened the Earth’s rotation by a few microseconds then, eh? Babies having babies is better than babies having rabies, M I Right? So who’s getting gay married today? RELATED: Are gay divorces also legal? #justplanningahead @pjohnson360 I was at DIK bar. It was crazier than normal…I guess. Or at least Charlie was. There are few things more insidious than being on mile 7 of a run and passing a Pizza Hut. @John_Irvine I’m quite unrefined. For example, I pronounce it "cal-zone-ee". @ChuckGT It must be a case of the vapors. RT @kdawg1313: Some days I come to work just for the free ibuprofen. @joceffvan I see where you’re coming from. I like it when my victuals fight back. Crazy man in McDonald’s says he know Angela Davis and that "There is no Autumn in Ethiopia". @JuanluisPG Coke causes cancer?! #unverifiedrumor @DCJono "Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break!" @skunkhair I despise Oklahoma also, but only because it borders my home state. Haven’t seen the musical. Starving. No food in house. Must go out and hunt and gather. @John_Irvine I have no retort. I fold. @Ty_DC giggles They’re these odd, seamless knitted briefs from Thailand I got on E-bay with no tags to differentiate back from front. @bdgrlaw Fabulous, fabulous darling. You’re still in. First karaoke song of the night will be: "Romeo & Juliet" by Dire Straights. I need help on the next selection. Thoughts? @jesserker Really?! Do tell! #itsfunnycuzitstrue @DCJono "Arrows show ambition, drive & movement towards a goal." Decode more doodles here: http://bit.ly/cxTcq0 @Shermin8tor Dear Pussy Cat Dolls, Thank you for obeying my ‘cease & desist’ letter. Love, Richard @jesserker The secksiest! Nighty night! RT @slummymummy9: @skunkhair @snoopysnowcone @bobalouie you get to get married in dc. // Or heckled & stoned in VA (and WVA). OMG what is my home state doing? "Topeka to be Google, Kansas for month of March": http://bit.ly/bYrTCT Yabba Dabba Do! dashes away @boogdogDC Why you make frowny at me? @joceffvan I’m certain we can work something out. @ChuckGT Oh really! @ChuckGT I’m not kidding. I almost got arrested last year for it. @debihope I’m wondering the same thing about free drinks, cuz they’re everywhere tonight. @skunkhair Ooooooooooklahomo… @chrisbarrondc …and what would you recommend wearing to an in-person interview? @ConciseAdvice I do love me some feline. @poetesss Thank you, Muse! I can’t wait to read them! @jesserker Getting ready for bed. Just realized my underwear were backwards. Don’t these things come with INSTRUCTIONS? RT @DCJono: @bobalouie "How do you write women so well? I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability." // <– Backwards? @DCJono That is so awesome! #bombsaway Sometimes I think I’d have better luck foot-tapping in a rest area bathroom stall. @jesserker I thought you took your 154th mugshot yesterday? #icantcountthathigh …hunt and gather and karaoke. Just like my ancestors. @DCJono I thought Descartes was a philosopher. @jesserker Naw…just Mormon. @jesserker I’d love to read some of her stuff sometime! @DCJono I lurve Diet Snapple. UNRELATED: I instigated several new regulations in the handbook at my college. Mostly IT Policies. @DCJono True story. A girl tried it once. She was also responsible for an alteration to our Drug & Alcohol Policy. @USFBull82 Only you would peddle such sagacious advice. #hugs @boogdogDC I will consider that a personal challenge. I have dreams and aspirations, too. RT @INAHAM730: @bobalouie can octopus fly?Can birds swim?Hmmmm #thingstoponder // LOL. Are penguins related to chickens? I need to cut back on the cream and sugar I put in my Diet Coke. @Ty_DC Good morning, Ty-fighter. @DrGatewood It’s pretty much the most bilious aroma I can think of. @chrisbarrondc "Creativity"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I object to my stringent office dress code that condemns wearing tutus to work. @chrisbarrondc No shirt, no shoes, no problem! (Kenny Chesney song, right?) @snoopysnowcone Wish you could be here for transluscent blouses & heart-stopping veggies! @slummymummy9 @joceffvan My Twitter-buds (and budettes) tell me it means to do a hit of a narcotic; most likely meth, cocaine, heroin or ketamine. I wish I didn’t bite my fingernails to the quick; then I could easily pluck my nosehairs on the fly. @joceffvan Are you knowledgable in the ways of the bump? I appreciate the offer, but not tonight. I’m full! @jpjaramillo Ha! I’d love to karaoke in a sub-Saharan click language. @JosieDC That’s perfect! It’s in my range…though I do have a big one. Range, that is. @DupontDan He looked like he wanted to whip out something. Crazy man says I’m not a natural blonde. THEM’S FIGHTIN WORDS! @ScottinStep Good call! Also, there’s nothing against kilts, currently. When it warms up I’ll break mine out & try my luck. @RockstrNinjaGrl But bootylicious at the same time. Count your blessings (and have some shortcake, sugar). About to board Metro. Bladder full. Oh, hello alley! #theworldismyurinal @KimW16 Sweetie darling, I don’t know what you’re talking about. swigs Stoli @LegalMoose "The hills are alive with the sound of grunting…" @JBizzleRox What were you doing up at 3am, young man? RT @Jase11: I wish people would learn that cheap perfumes only make them smell worse // I’ve found they actually improve my aroma. @joceffvan So did I! Someone just asked me if I wanted to go and do a "bump" with him. I said "no" because I have no idea what that means. So I’ve managed to hunt a McDonald’s Southwest salad and 6 chicken nuggets. Kudos, me. @LeonDusk I’m in the market for a monkey tattoo if you find yourself with some doodle time. @DCJono @Shermin8tor Aw, babe, that means a lot! Thank you so much! @RockstrNinjaGrl I can hardly blame you. If you made it it must be divine. His loss. On both counts. @sianyrobinson Bridesmaid? Perhaps. How about you being my ‘Private Dancer’, instead? @kelkel926 I’m glad tweetphoto works for you! I’ll try to use it more often. @DCBrent @kdawg1313 Personally I’m all about the Midol and diuretics. #midolismagical @ChuckGT It wouldn’t have been my first time in prison. @extraspecial P.S. I dig your Twitter handle. Is there a story behind it? @DCJono Your dad is a troublemaker? Do tell! What was the alteration? Whoa doggies! So that’s what a "bump" is. Thanks y’all! "Twitter is my anti-drug!" I’m trying to convince my supervisor that a course in "How To Write Chick Lit" will further my professional development. @jpjaramillo LOL. Oh the humanities! I bet those scribes were in awesome shape. @LeonDusk I’m sure it was. @USFBull82 I miss you too. What’s up with that "law school" ho-bag monopolizing all your time? @Chugs07 Actually I am. Most of my co-workers refuse to eat lunch with me because of my "unique" tastes. @DCBrent It was not! It was an unbelievably bizarre video of some guy singing something unrecognizable. @pockitpatrik @boogdogDC RT @Jamberta: @bobalouie Jamie puts his undies on backwards too but he’s only been wearing them for a year… // Ha ha ha! Wait… Invertebrate Tally from house to Metro: 3 slugs and 5 earthworms. RELATED: I’m suddenly craving spaghetti. @DCdebbie Tell them you recently underwent a successful male-to-female operation. Then ask one for his number. @CokeZero Actually I was using a can of Coke Zero to clean the grout in my kitchen, but you’re still heroic for all that! @jesserker My word is my bondage…I mean bond! Bond. Yes, that’s right. @DupontDan It was a little chillier than normal tonight. Another hour of doodling…I mean meetings. BBL @kdawg1313 You’re ever so welcome, Karen. Darn you for making me jones for some Mac ‘N Cheese, though! Why yes, I would like a lime in my White Russian! @extraspecial It’s better than being suppresive. I don’t want any of my co-workers sitting on me. "Pop goes the weasel" (if it’s in a microwave). Let’s not go putting the cart before the chicken. That’s just silly. Conference Call! puts on his radio voice BBL @boogdogDC Not if I were in a motorized wheelchair AND with a BAC of .6.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-02

Richard Mankhey — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	3:34pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard knows several ‘adults’ with the vocabulary of a 3rd grader who are in desperate need of synonym injection. STAT.
	11:32pm	rmankhey posted 137 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) I’m examining womens’ purse contents from the vantage point of the bus. http://4sq.com/HaHaHaTampons RT @A_Ron_The_DJ: Vote for me as Best DJ in Washington City Paper’s 2010 Best Of!! — http://bit.ly/VoteA-RON @STFU_Ryan Hey, don’t hogtie & molest the messenger. Wait…on second thought… @KimsCrackers @Ryan_Please I’ll wake you up; before I go-go. @jesserker There is a lot to be desired from the McPaper. It’s my turn to plan the Mktg Dept meeting Ice Breaker. I’m thinking something with music, beer, warrior helmets and muddy shorts. @MarioPadilla Pam Tillis? Kathy Matthea? I get my country chanteuses mixed up this early in the morning. @LegalMoose Sweet! I can’t wait to see the soccer moms and cat ladies I work with get through that! @Shermin8tor That is a result of you impeccable taste, my pretty. @Jamberta Yeah I don’t like it when it does that. Creeps me out a little. @lwilcher Hot…and…muddy. @boogdogDC Sure. Can I give you a haircut first? #snipsnip @LeonDusk The chances of surviving a personality transplant are often not worth the risk. Oxymoron is: Any Metrobus with the word ‘Express’ in the route name. #clocktease @suicide_blond TWSS Willpower is one thing I do have…in addition to ulcerative colitis. Stand back. @MarioPadilla Okay. @DCBrent Also, you can get shoes from the bowling alley for only $1. @MarkDC @BXGD There is that! "I thought his butt looked bigger…I guess it’s the Tequila talkin’". whew Enough tweets for now. I’m going to go canoodle with Dreamweaver. BBL @MarioPadilla Patty Loveless! Oh snap! Kansas Farmboy #Fail! I’ll be over here licking my wounds. @matthewarchman He’s Canadian. ‘Nuff said. @DrGatewood @pjohnson360 @DupontDan @SuDeepe Well I hope the NE natives behave. It was a full moon recently. I’m great, thanks. Doing my taxes. Woot! @John_Irvine http://tweetphoto.com/13038186 The ‘floaters’ in my vitreous fluid are making it hard to focus on my two computer screens. #gettingdizzy @DistrictOfAris EXHIBIT A: http://tweetphoto.com/13052804 A co-worker emailed this today when I turned something around quickly. I’m sitting on the commode AND Q-tipping my ears. http://4sq.com/RealMenSitDown @lwilcher A demonstration is in order. #BAM @DCJono @Chugs07 Like your mom? My last tweet gave me an idea for a physics problem that would’ve gotten me arrested had I been a Physics teacher. RT @kdawg1313: Thing about being drunk is, my touching my ears keeps my fingers warm. @JuanluisPG TMI or a tongue-in-cheek commentary on FourSquare? You decide. On average, I resist the impulse to reply "THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!" to work emails about 10 times a day. Traffuck. Life is all about Yin & Yang: Sometimes we’re philosophers & sometimes we’re prostitutes. @kdawg1313 Precisely! Why look all voluptuous and "come-hither" if it’s all smoke and boobalicious mirrors? I’m huffing markers on the 2T Metrobus to Tyson’s Corner. http://4sq.com/StopStaringAtMe @DistrictOfAris Truth be told, I do enjoy the McPaper. It suits my 3rd grade IQ. @DistrictOfAris Yeah…um…that’s Kevin. @DCJono I just finished them all. With a Kashi protein bar. It SIZZLED! @DCdebbie Reminds me of a typo I saw on a website footer: "All Rights Resevered" #grammarpolice @aliholden Did he say something about the male seahorse being the one to carry the babies? Yeah, I get that a lot, too. @lwilcher So many words rhyme with nose! It’s probably a country song. Purple v-neck shirt and teal cardigan is "business casual" in my book (of fashion mistakes). Coke Zero, you’re my hero. @skunkhair That’s the plan. I’m trying to stretch some comfort zones & get some good blackmail material. @ChuckGT Well if you’ve already bought the butt you should keep it. It might make a nice mouse pad or something. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed in my underwear picking my nose. http://4sq.com/IRock! @RockstrNinjaGrl blushes uncontrollably @KPCK Ahhhhh! ducks and covers @DCToddNow That’s me! raises hackles and growls softly @John_Irvine "Reach Out for Love" FTW I need an epi-pen full of synonyms to stick in a few people. #varietyisthespiceoflife @KimsCrackers Portland called. They wanted me to tell you, and I quote, "STFU. K THX BAI." Enantiomers. I’m looking at you. @JuanluisPG They do still exist! @LeonDusk We may have been separated at birth. It seems we have a certain, um, skill in common. @LeonDusk @ELJefe843 Just the headboard? Amateur. @Shermin8tor What would you buy makeup for? You certainly don’t need any. @SuDeepe Hey ya geek! What’s up? In jail tonight? If you were suddenly presented with $50 to spend at Target, what would YOU buy? @lwilcher I have my own ball and shoes. It would have been fun. Hopefully some other time! @John_Irvine On that note, I’d like to introduce a new acronym: RAFL (Reach Around For Love) Iceberg Lettuce is pretty much a waste of space. @Chugs07 What’s you mom’s screen name on A4A? @KimW16 She is hottielicious, ain’t she? @LeonDusk It’s good to mix it up every now and then. whew Just finished my taxes. My BAC was only about .27. I’m sure I did everything right. @SnoopDannyDan OATMEAL Chocolate Chip Cookies, even! @LeonDusk o_O @ELJefe843 You rock! Thanks for sending that pic my way. Good catch! @chrisbarrondc That’s lovely, darling — I’m sure your mom cares. Too bad nobody else does. @LeonDusk It does get tedious, doesn’t it? #bzzzzzcut @boogdogDC Facebook is telling me I can "Meet smart gay men at BrainiacDating.com." chuckles Oh, Facebook! Warning: May Contain Grainy Nudity. @lwilcher Since we won’t be wearing any shirts during the mud wrestling, shorts will be the only clothing getting dirty. @ELJefe843 I fail to see what that has to do with Object Permanence. @boogdogDC As well you should have (signed up). Your genius baffles me. @LeonDusk Walls can be washed, but pre-emptive proper aiming would be prudent. #ballistics RT @Ryan_Please: the tired is strong with this one // Your training is complete, young Padowan. Happy Birfday Jon Bon Jovi (1962)!!! Bah. I’m pooped! Too much exercising lately. Sweet dreams princes and princesses! Xoxoxoxo @MarioPadilla Sure; I’m game. What say you? Time to go play "Food or Not-Food" in the dumpster out back. It stimulates my creativity. @skunkhair I couldn’t resist. Neither could you apparently. @Ryan_Please @MarioPadilla Okay, then I’m in…as long as I can sneak some vodka into my O’Douls. @DCToddNow So when co-workers approach me they get nauseated and have to run away, thus preserving my peace. The headline story on the McPaper (USA Today) is "Chile Seeks Help". Oh. Really? @debihope They’re all not-so-secretly Jewish? @MarioPadilla I’ll have to opt-out. I’m doing a tweet-up on Thur with some crazy btches and will need all the booze I can get. What’s this about getting egg on your face? Why did you have the blender turned up so high, anyway? @DCBrent Guys with ‘hawks do it right down the middle. @LeonDusk @Shermin8tor Okay, now that’s a different story. Eye Shadow FTW!! You girls have all the fun. @MarioPadilla Your Awesomeness Index just jumped 14 points. Kudos! Hello? Google Analytics? It’s me Richard. Why are you broken? @ChuckGT giggles* Thanks for the RT, babe. @KimW16 I do remember those! Lol. sighs nostalgically @chrisbarrondc Who took it? @ELJefe843 @kelkel926 It’s sometimes helpful. Maybe 6% of the time. Q-tipping is the gateway drug to cow tipping. @DCdebbie Awesome Possum! You’re very welcome. I have flat feet so it helped me a lot. @John_Irvine I guess "size does matter" in certain, special circumstances. You know what would make this protein bar 237% better? Pop Rocks. @boogdogDC Takin’ it for the team, eh? We’ll let you have it, won’t we @LeonDusk ? @RockstrNinjaGrl You’ve been to paradise but you’ve never been to me? Or have you? searches memory Is "cellar door" really the most beautiful phrase in the English language? I’d prefer "Here; have a trust fund". Can I just tell you something? You can never have too many things that glow in the dark. I know I’m always bitching & moaning & whining about 1 thing or another but I have to say: LONGEST. DAY. EVER. You! You get a kick for wanting Pluto to remain a planet! kick Yabba Dabba Do! Time to make like a tree and get outta here. Facebook is "suggesting" I read messages I purposefully didn’t open in the first place. STEP OFF BTCH! RT @DrGatewood: RT @ELJefe843: @bobalouie I’m horny as fuck//good lord, you texted that to me this morning! // Mistake. It was meant for me. @ELJefe843 Is that because your sense of Object Permanence is flawed? @slummymummy9 TWO WORDS: Sea World @DCJason Sweet dreams…or beautiful nightmares. Your choice. Apparently doing my runs around the neighborhood in a Santa hat has earned me a reputation. I don’t understand the purpose of bulge or butt-enhancing underwear. Eventually your ruse will be discovered. @A_Ron_The_DJ Not a bad idea…if I used iTunes. @DistrictOfAris There is that. The crossword puzzle doesn’t prove to be much of an obstacle. @DCJono @lwilcher I knock on wood all the time. #ifyouknowwhatimean #waitwhat @TweakThaNurples "Whip it real good!" sung to the tune of "Push It"* My appendectomy scar is itching. There must be organ harvesting in my future. Dear Spyware Doctor, Thank you for saving my PC from an insidious pr0n-induced virus. Kisses, Richard If you ever get lonely in your cube, just pass a little gas. Next thing you know, everyone shows up. @kdawg1313 Oops! delete tweet I keep a pen and paper by my bed for nighttime epiphanies. This morning my scribbles said: "Refill Valtrex Rx" @MarioPadilla Wait…is O’Douls allowed? @kdawg1313 It seemed apropos considering you mentioned being drunk. =) @kelkel926 It’s so good they should sue themselves! @KPCK Gah! You said ‘PK Values’ and plummeted me back to college Biochem for 4.7 horrible seconds. Not sure what I was dreaming about, but I woke up just now & made a point of taking my wallet to the bathroom. Does this appendectomy scar make me look fat? @aliholden Oh snap! So you just realized I’m tweeting from outside your bedroom window? #foiledagain RT @TweakThaNurples: @bobalouie whip cream chargers. legal drugs from target YEAH!! // I’m in awe of you. RT @boogdogDC: @kdawg1313 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO @bobalouie // I 2nd that! Big, fat LULZ! Actually, it’s not an appendectomy scar at all; it’s a badd-a$$ tattoo. Isn’t it so realistic? @aliholden That is filthy? Whatever in the world were you doing there? So March came in like a lamb…with Shari Lewis’ hand stuck up its butt.

Daily Digest for 2010-03-01

Richard Mankhey — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:59:59 +0000

10:09pm

rmankhey posted 81 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details)

@jesserker You’re welcome, little lady.
Sometimes I look at my phone for the time 3 consecutively and still don’t know the time.
Getting crapped on by a bird is good luck, but what if the bird craps in your Cheerios?
I *probably* don’t need to take my flask to work today, but the Boy Scout motto is "Be Prepared".
Happy First Day of Meteorological Spring, y’all! Hope it’s a frabjous one!
RT @DCJono: I just ousted @bobalouie as the mayor of Vienna/Fairfax-GMU Metro Station on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/74V8DL // Mutiny!!
@jpjaramillo Nice! I stayed there for a week last August. It’s close to the lake and I went running on the shore every morning. #lovely
@boogdogDC It’s only 50% of a throe (since it’s only one side). More of a ‘toss’ actually. Your music recommendation is appreciated!
@ELJefe843 My…I mean my friend’s lightbulb burned out so when I replace it I can charge ‘em up and take pics.
@boogdogDC I’ll always leave a light on for you (Belinda Carlisle-style)
@JuanluisPG Congrats! I dream of doing the same thing some day.
@SugarBoobs Oodles of gratuitous noodles to you, cupcake! *smooch*
@jonesy77 Aha! Michael told me you were away, just didn’t mention where. I hope you have some fun while you’re there!
People that brush their teeth in TV commercials use WAY more toothpaste than recommended by the ADA.
@JosieDC It’s a knock-knock joke. Google ‘interrupting cow’. #cowismysecondlanguage @Andrew703
@ELJefe843 I’m not sure if it’s physically fit or glutton for punishment.
It’s cool for a 29 year-old to put glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling right? I’m asking for a friend.
@Andrew703 Q: What angers a beef stroganoff the most? A: An Interrupting Cow!
Look out, y’all! They’re turning the Large Hadron Collider back on: http://bit.ly/9E3f9i #blackholes
@JuanluisPG The best part is they’re chocolate Cheerios!
@DCToddNow Yer welcome!
@KPCK I had no idea! #themoreyouknow #knowledgeispogwer
So how hottielicious was Catherine O’ Hara last night? *wolf whistle*
@DCdebbie I ran 15 miles over the weekend & my booty feels pretty good. Do you strike the ground with your heel or ball of your foot?
@DCdebbie You have an asstounding (sic) effect on people, Debbie dear. @kspidel @tony_mcfadden @paul_hoggatt
@chrisbarrondc I’m an avid fan of streaking.
Yabba Dabba Do! The gym is calling to me. BBL
RT @Shermin8tor: Nannying then off to the crap shack. // We should trade places for a day.
You complete me, Hamburger Helper Beef Stroganoff.
@ELJefe843 I hope so! I need to be ready for the National Half-Marathon on March 20th.
@Ryan_Please Oh I’m simply insidious; however I’m merely the lesser of two weevils. @skunkhair
@DCBrent ROFL. #iknowwhatyoumean
@KimW16 Wow, they have Spice Girls songs on Rock Band? I’ve died and gone to heaven. @KimsCrackers
@jonesy77 I was hoping you’d be there. Are you on vacay?
I tweeted this 2 days ago…obviously prematurely, but to review: "That’s enough, Nickelback".
@chrisbarrondc Why thank you, Cassanova. I feel like hugging strangers. How are you?
@lilwolf30 Dag nabbit! I knew something was up. I’m gonna go get some foie gras to throw at them. #canadiangeese
@chrisbarrondc Indeed! I hope we *have* a Spring and it doesn’t launch right into blast-furnace boggy heat waves.
RT @skunkhair: RT @Ryan_Please: You should follow @please_ryan. That guy is the tits! [He is the evil gay twin of @Ryan_Please ] // Beware!!
I swear every time I look at the clock it happens to be 4:20. #notapotheadipromise
@meaganhtfld If you find out, let me know. It sounds like something I could apply to other appliances. Like people.
@Shermin8tor Because I’ve never worked in a crap shack. Or nanny-ed for that matter. Sounds fun!
@chrisbarrondc The heat produces a full-body sheen of sweat that makes me think I should just get nekkid.
@DCdebbie Are you talking rectal or gluteal?
I have a bottle of Hugo Boss cologne older than some of my co-workers.
So Robert Pattinson is doing an orgy scene in an upcoming movie called "Bel Ami". I smell gay!
@chrisbarrondc Challah! Oops, I meant, Holla! I get those two mixed up. #baffledbybread
@JuanluisPG Will there be a piñata???
The second earliest bird gets stuck with a stupid continental breakfast.
I wish my ear would text me instead of ringing all the time. Can’t a guy get a break?
@JuanluisPG Thank you, sir. Housewarming fiesta, perhaps?
@Chugs07 Meteorological Spring and astronomical Spring are different. The latter starts on Mar 21st.
@ELJefe843 Folding laundry, rockin’ out to my tinnitus. Yourself?
@DCToddNow #ManicMonday!!! Spanks, Todd!
@JuanluisPG Aye carumba!!!
@Shermin8tor Sweet!
@ElJefe843 But look at my fiber optic nightlight! http://twitgoo.com/fci8i
http://twitgoo.com/flvrn
Poppies…poppies…I’m getting sleepy…
@DCBrent I could get behind that. #ifyouknowwhatimean
Victim: Craptastic Work PC Suspect: Bobalouie Location: Cubicle Weapon: Hammer
I can’t do karaoke w/out singing my standard "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
@DCJono You are evil. I will redouble my efforts and reclaim my mayorship of Vienna metro. Or not.
If I had a penny for everytime I found a penny on the ground…wait…
@lilwolf30 Timeshare?
The Canadian Geese outside my office building are suspiciously agreeable this morning.
Think your life sucks? Think again: http://i.imgur.com/U9zeD.jpg Try gratitude.
@boogdogDC Thank you for staying with us. You’re one of our favorite customers.
@DCdebbie You’re askin’ for it if you bring up anything remotely related to the posterior around gay men. @paul_hoggatt @jdurham70 @kspidel
Karaoke @ Green Lantern. Just keeping the Sabbath holy.
@boogdogDC I gave up. I was too bus thinking about frosting pancakes with you. #ifyouknowwhatimean
@sianyrobinson Don’t turn your back; and try not to smell like birdseed.
@ELJefe843 I got it at Safeway 3 yrs ago. Impulse buy. My weekend was great! I ran a sh*t-ton. My legs hate me.
@DCdebbie You are quite welcome!
@Chugs07 I did! The doctor gave me antibiotics that would destroy my intestinal flora & make me bloat like a sea cow. I’ll tough it out.
@slummymummy9 In that case, Jennifer Aniston is right-out as well.
@KPCK You kill me!
@DCdebbie Heel-striking can stress your muscles and joints. Try to focus on landing on the balls of your feet. It’s odd only at first.
RT @bobalouie: http://twitgoo.com/flvrn // There’s a lil’ bit of ‘WTF’ everywhere you look. @ELJefe843
@jesserker Welcome back, beautiful!
@DCBrent @Andrew703 Cow jokes are funny, but not as funny as Helen Keller jokes.