One Side Will Make You Taller

Daily Digest for 2010-06-20

Richard Mankhey — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

11:32pm

rmankhey posted 59 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details)

@gaypornfanatic Yes. Just like the family in that "The Hills Have Eyes" movie. @TheCortez
@Hot_Pocket I will try to get it on video next time! I won’t be wearing my dancing dress however. It’s at the cleaners.
@matthewarchman I do live in Vienna, which is in Fairfax county. I love living close to the metro and running trails.
Woman: "Isn’t my daughter adorable?" Me: "Absolutely! She’d look great on a milk carton."
@snoopysnowcone Paying someone to do it is also an option…so I’ve heard.
@BeachBarista I can just *hear* the hair sprouting on your chest.
@slummymummy9 Genius. Why aren’t you running the world yet?
Hotel Twitter: You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
@Alisonhatesyou Do they still make that stuff or is it only available in Dollar Stores? #summerseve
@RuffBip I like you already!
I have one word for you: Asshattery
@jemel2 Of course, by ‘boobs’ I mean ‘boobs’. I also mean ‘butt’. @DCdebbie
Dear Dad: Even tho’ you read my explicit journal entries & knew I was gay long before I told you, I still love you.
@slummymummy9 Are your spawn in on your "fattening up the neighborhood urchins" scheme?
I’m addicted to karaoke. There. I said it. Next song…"Fancy" by Reba McEntire.
My housemate has a friend sleeping on our couch tonight. Must remember to walk around naked a lot.
@DominicScott Promises, promises. @KristiBice
@SugarBoobs *smooch*
@Big_in_VA Well, at least we’ve got mirrors on the ceiling and pink champagne on ice! *clinks glass*
RT @edmontongreg: Lawn done, I think I am going to go do my neighbour/fellow firefighter // #prematurelytruncatedtweet
@slummymummy9 Or Whiskas(TM) if you’re feeling all fancy.
@gaypornfanatic If by ‘fierce’ you mean ‘unfathomably silly’ then you are correct. @TheCortez
@DistrictOfAris I’m not pointing the Twink-Finger at anyone. Just trying to be funny. @BeachBarista
@Whiskey_Dad Thank you! I’ve been stabbing Twitter with my steely knives but I just can’t kill the beast.
@TheCortez In the end it’s all in fun, sistahs! @gaypornfanatic
@Boddingtons I grew up on a farm in Kansas. Currently living in Wash DC area. My dad does NOT cook meth (often).
@BeachBarista *Favourited* @ELJefe843
RT @Charlie_W_: If you screw up my feed by retweeting inane shit over and over I will instantly unfollow you! Ffs! // <—–Does this count?
@BeachBarista *giggles* You said ‘mounting’.
I had quite an adventure last night & it all started when I sang "Fancy" for karaoke. Thanks, Reba!
@slummymummy9 If you’d stop eating that cheap damn dogfood all the time…
RT @SuDeepe: So now if you hold a quart of oil to your ear will you hear the ocean?? // <—This is my mom, guys.
@KimW16 I disagree. A burn on your booty would be particularly painful.
@DCdebbie Ima holler at you because this weather is making my boobs sweat.
@chrisbarrondc You’re not officially a senior citizen until you demand a discount on your McDonald’s cone while shaking a cane.
@debihope Red or white? Or yellow, considering I’d be exiting the commode?
Dear Interwebz: You’ve pretty much sucked half my life away. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
@Whiskey_Dad Ha! I love it when you take a funny 2 (or 7) steps further.
@Whiskey_Dad *digs in wallet for some singles*
@edmontongreg As I said before…you reek of valor.
@edmontongreg I have no doubt you are a man of valor. I just like playing with your tweets. #itsnotwhatitsoundslike
I love you @debihope and I’m not just saying that…but my fingers are.
If you follow me on Twitter and your bio contains the phrase "I love the Jonas brothers" I’m watching you. Closely.
I’m sitting next to a dude watching golf in a bar. He’s cheering the golf ball on. Wow.
@gaypornfanatic Gurrrrrrl….oh no she dih-ent! @TheCortez
@Alisonhatesyou For some reason that makes me think of Summer’s Eve.
I would like to request that some fanfare be played the next time I exit the bathroom.
Had a nice chat w/ Dad. The usual from him: "Lotsa rain. Cows are fine. The ditchweed is quite lush this year."
@LegalMoose Roger, Roger. Step 1: Activate webcam Step 2: Walk around naked.
@chrisbarrondc A totally sweet pimp cane with a ridiculously huge gem on top, a platinum tip and a sword inside. Huzzah!
@BeachBarista I see what you did there…and I LIKE IT! @districtofaris
@RuffBip She did! It was called, simply, "Reba". I only saw a few episodes, but I believe it did well.
@Charlie_W_ This girl means business. *golf clap* @DistrictOfAris
RT @Chugs07: RT @masonmiller: Happy Sperm Donor Day! // Bwhahaha // Hey! My daddy was a sperm donor!
@KimW16 Happy Birthday, Mrs. President!!! Ima get some ditchweed from my dad for you.
@snoopysnowcone I know, right? You can’t buy love but HJ’s? Hellz to the yeah!
@RuffBip Thank you for the ReTweet! Are you a Reba fan, Sir?
@RuffBip My pleasure! Welcome to Twitter!
@Boddingtons Yes! I spent most of my formative years riding horses, harvesting wheat, tossing hay bales, driving tractors…

Daily Digest for 2010-06-19

Richard Mankhey — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

11:05pm

rmankhey posted 77 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details)

I would rather you kill *me* before I saw this movie: http://twitgoo.com/14a5xj
My Zhu Zhu pet is better than your Zhu Zhu pet.
Oh @DCBrent…how you make me giggle.
What’s a ‘puto’? It’s scrawled on the bench I’m sitting on.
…just shamelessly bopping my head to "Vacation" by the Go Gos. That’s all.
Oops. I meant to take a picture of my lychee-green tea frozen yogurt but I forgot and ate it too fast.
@ChukDC Exactly! The gap is just the right size for my knees. My runner’s thighs? Not so much.
@Cumdumpster2000 "Hello botulism, my old friend…"
@Rjaxx1 2 of my favorite things.
@Rjaxx1 I’m diggin’ your taste in music, Riley.
If not for incest, there wouldn’t be anyone to appear on the Jerry Springer Show.
@Rjaxx1 I <3 you. Thanks for the ReTweets, stud!
@Alisonhatesyou My Zhu Zhu also doubles as a "personal massager". #ifyouknowwhatimean
I have to face facts. I will never be a Playboy Bunny.
I just happened to catch a glimpse of the Denmark soccer team on TV. They look like a bunch of Ken dolls.
If you see a dude out tonight in the DC gay-borhood with a wannabe-beard & a cowboy hat, that’s me. Say ‘hi’.
@pjohnson360 Come into my parlor (said the bobalouie to the pjohnson360).
@davesilverstone …and I’m 1/2 Scandanavian! Coincidence?
@Boddingtons I think that’s a perfect Litmus test!
@FHornChickie You are correct!
I kind of liked it when Twitter said I only had 1,212 tweets. I felt like less of a loser.
I wish I could remember why I’m chewing on these Gingko Biloba leaves.
Baseball uniforms are so dang unflattering. Even David Beckham would look frumpy wearing one.
I just ate a can of Mixed Vegetables that said "Best if Used By: Jul. 12, 2008". I like to live life dangerously.
@ImUrCaligirl Oh snap, girlfriend. Oh. Snap.
@kelkel926 Every 4 years apparently. I’ve been schooled. I’m also blushing. You so sweet!
Step 1: Fill ale glass with cotton candy Step 2: Fill glass with malt liquor Step 3. Drink Step 4. Check sanity
@boogdogDC Our love can’t be denied.
@Hot_Pocket They go nicely with my sweaty buttcrack. *wink*
@Boddingtons A boy.
@edmontongreg It’s a very clever and very entertaining ruse, eh?
@JosieDC Of course I’m serious…and don’t call me Shirley. Or Mary for that matter.
@Rjaxx1 "Can’t seem to get my mind off of you-ew-ew!"
@KimW16 If I had a car I would drive all night.
My only vice is the burning desire to own a Bobblehead of myself.
@JeremyHawking Some of the sugar from your last tweet is still stuck to your lips.
@mikesica I archive all my tweets and FB status updates with a Wordpress ‘Lifestream’ plugin. But sometimes I wish I didn’t.
Is this the first year for the World Cup or something? I seriously do not remember this crap last year.
The one thing I love about the soccer games are when the camera pans to the coach during an embarassing play.
I think I’m in love. Seriously. Is there a test for that so I can be sure?
I just learned the word ‘prostidude’ and I can’t *wait* to use it in context!
Like a Phoenix rising out of the ash, I’m about to scare the sh*t out of those little kids in the ball pit.
@davesilverstone Whatever that ’something’ may have been I think we’ve found something better.
@Boddingtons It wasn’t *really* sweet until I dumped a bunch of Runts(TM) into the malt liquor.
@Rjaxx1 Riley! I grew up on a farm in Kansas. I partially reserve the right to rock a cowboy hat. Also, oranges don’t grow in Kansas.
@Hot_Pocket I almost fell off my bar stool laughing at that.
I just bought an electronic item that was super-easy to open. Am I on an episode of "Punk’d"?
@KimW16 It is true. It’s one of my mantras. I’m glad you like it.
@edmontongreg So not sexy. But then I guess that’s why I watch UFC.
I’m completely at a loss as to how some of these twitter-bot-spammers find me. *flips the bird to the bots*
@Alisonhatesyou I see your battle armor and raise you a head-mounted napalm blaster.
@samirluther As do I. Unfortunately my handwriting is completely illegible.
For my next trick I will need a member from the audience. *Your* member in particular, sir.
@kelkel926 It’s such a buzzkill, eh?
@Rjaxx1 I approve. Two enthusiastic thumbs way up!
@Rjaxx1 I had a feeling you’d like that one, Riley. *wink*
I just saw someone put something in a mailbox. How quaint!
Walkin’ aimlessly around DC…sporting some oh-so-sexy sweat stains on my shirt. Please ladies, one at time.
@Boddingtons Absolutely. You can’t make that kind of stuff up. P.S. It’s pretty tasty.
RT @Rjaxx1: RT @bobalouie My only vice is the burning desire to own a Bobblehead of my penis. // Hey! I didn’t tweet that!
@davesilverstone Wouldn’t we all?
@MichaThom I’d much rather imply shit than say it.
I just squeezed through a DC Metro turnstyle without paying. Someone call the authorities.
@edmontongreg "Gay friendly" is one way of putting it; I know exactly what you mean. I wrestled in high school.
@pjohnson360 Only if you’re allergic to spider bites.
@boogdogDC Yeah! It just gets stored in a SQL database that I can export into Excel and marvel at my stupidity. @mikesica
@mtclmbr1450 That’s exactly what it is!
When a heart breaks, it don’t break even.
It weirds me out to see clothes on the sidewalk. It’s like "Where’s the streaker?"
My first tweet was something about how sucktastic Tallahassee Motel 8’s are…but then that’s just redundant.
@Diane_Can It crossed my mind, but then the ramifications of wearing a kilt to a gay bar sounded like too much fun.
@DCHotland You liked my Rite-Aid cowboy hat? Xoxoxo @pjohnson360 @lwilcher
Okay, show of hands. Who among y’alls first tweet was something like: "Trying out this Twitter thing."
@ImUrCaligirl Cowboy boots? Pfft! Those are the equivalent of stilettos!
Meet my boyfriend/lover: http://twitgoo.com/14a050
@Hot_Pocket Seriously. We should be filming a pr0n together right now.
@slummymummy9 It would behoove me to keep my pants on, as I’m going commando.

Daily Digest for 2010-06-18

Richard Mankhey — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	4:11pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard has no interest in seeing Toy Story 3 and in fact, has never even seen the first 2. Commence with the stoning.
	10:34pm	rmankhey posted 59 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) The human body is incredible. Do you realize how hard it is to hacksaw it into microwave-sized pieces? @Alisonhatesyou I’m still waiting for you to crawl up my skirt. @John_Irvine You mean you shoot fanny pack wearers? Or do you conceal your gun in your fanny pack? @chrisgeidner Your roommate is a genius! RELATED: WTH happened to Brendan Frasier? @slummymummy9 It was a very nice visual. I will draw you a devastatingly handsome picture. SJP eat your horsey heart out: http://twitgoo.com/14441c @JeremyHawking http://flic.kr/p/6DCGTb @Diane_Can I’m playing it safe with some booty shorts on underneath. I’m surrounded by horny housewives. Gotta be careful. @BeeJohnny Heather Grey. Must. Resist. Listening. To. ATeens…. @jesserker Oh. It’s begun. @mikesica …unless I invest in a Taser my colleagues will continue to pester me and prevent productivity. @slummymummy9 Definitey not creepy (if you know what I mean). @boogdogDC @mikesica @atypicalG By the way…you are so much taller than I expected! @mikesica @jesserker JR’s. What’s that movie with the mummy in it? @atypicalG I realize now that I forgot his Twitter handle. How terrible is that? I’m cutting outta work early and ain’t nobody gonna stop me. @boogdogDC You are a such a darling. @JosieDC I have no interest in seeing Toy Story 3. I’ve never even seen the first 2. Go ahead, stone me now. …oh nothing…just sending and receiving racy text messages. @djgordonfan Home++ @extraspecial laughs* I can always count on you to pipe up for my more sadistic tweets. Damn. I’m out of caffeine pills. RELATED: I’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it! I’m so…scared. sobs @Rjaxx1 I know this is a little late, but Good Morning to you, sexy! @atypicalG I know, right? The smell of testosterone is intoxicating. @whosthatgirl2 Thank you for the #FollowFriday. You are always making me smile! @Alisonhatesyou Here you go: http://flic.kr/p/6DCGTb Enjoy! Don’t mess with me. I’ve got my power panties on today. @MarioSemiglia It’s not that unbelievable, is it? IS IT!?!? @Hot_Pocket I’m not passing judgment on them…I just don’t have any interest. I’m sure they’re most adorable. @JeremyHawking Most likely not. It hasn’t been properly laundered. @matthewarchman When you were 10? WTH kinda music was I listening to when I was 10? There was a time in my life when I enjoyed Schlitz malt liquor, though those days are kinda fuzzy. @Charlie_W_ Give me about 5 hours. @slummymummy9 …and then you’d be sucking it IN the "movie". @Alisonhatesyou @Cumdumpster2000 @sianyrobinson That’s my girl! @extraspecial It fits you like a lacy bustier…I mean a glove. @Alisonhatesyou Roses are red, violets are blue. All you tweet about is "butts and poo". @jesserker Bestiality! (Do a deer) @Cumdumpster2000 The former. Bangles-style mummies. @atypicalG It’s good to know I’m not the only ‘mo at that gym. I love the staff. They’re always trying to make me color my hair. I’m showing pictures of me dressed in drag to my co-workers. It’s SUCH a productive day. @amy4669 giggles My bark is worse than my bite. Wait…no, I bite much harder than I bark. @jesserker …and it’s a female deer, lesbiana. Note To Self: Dress up as an old woman when at the DMV to be bumped to the front of the line. @slummymummy9 Where would you be exactly? The corner of 5th and U? @Cumdumpster2000 @Alisonhatesyou @atypicalG I know it was you. I didn’t know you worked out there. You weren’t a creeper at all. It was great to see you! @jesserker giggles Your secret is safe with me…until I start drinking that is. @DCBrent I’m glad I’m not the only one. I think my buttcheeks are too far apart to fart an an admirable decibel level. I consider myself relatively self-actualized but fanny packs make even me nervous. I’m wearing a kilt to work today. My coworkers are just going to have to like it. Don’t forget to honor your father (and "father figures" wink wink) this weekend for Father’s Day! @matthewarchman Thank you for the #FollowFriday love, baldie! wink Can someone help me strap on this heart rate monitor band? I’m helpless! @DCToddNow Gym flirting? I recommend hanging in the sauna. Bring Crisco(TM). @Andrew703 P. Domo is playing doctor with Ken: http://twitgoo.com/1442za

Daily Digest for 2010-06-17

Richard Mankhey — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	12:17pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard means more to you than handbags & shoes.
	11:49pm	rmankhey posted 28 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @ImUrCaligirl LOL. You knew that all along. Don’t fib to make me feel better! @JosieDC Phase 1 has karaoke tonight. I’m throwing down the gauntlet…er…microphone. @EvanOdd Hello. Our names are @DCJono and @bobalouie and we’re karaoke addicts. @DistrictOfAris @Rjaxx1 Then you can be a Super Stalker! @krrptd1 @Whiskey_Dad Did you finally chew your ankle bracelet off? A girl just bought me a drink. At Cobalt. Let’s hear it for the girl! @Whiskey_Dad Ladies & Gents, lock up your liquor! RT @DCJono: So @bobalouie and I were just window sat at Annie’s because we’re so hot. // Speak for yourself! I’m just waiting to use the line: "Save your breath; you’ll need it to blow up your date later." If Indiana Jones were here he’d totally whip your ass. I was just trying to text ‘retreat’ & I typed ‘retweet’ instead. I can haz intervenshun? @debihope I look like me! I think… "What’s your Twitter handle?" is the new "What’s your phone number?" @JosieDC This I just gotta hear! As long as it’s not "Friends in Low Places" that is. @mikesica So what’s it like being a virgin at your age? @DupontDan It’s your birthday! Let fall thy chastity belt! @A_Ron_The_DJ claps hands Ooh! A ch33zervenshun! RT @SuDeepe: @bobalouie Girls aren’t all bad. // Especially when they’re your mom! @EvanOdd Tough luck, kiddo. You know you can pay for that kinda stuff. So a crown came off while I was eating & I bit down on it and chipped another tooth. How’s that for #FML? @amy4669 @DCBrent @whosthatgirl2 Thank you for the ReTweet! @NathanPayne Well actually I’m the one who asks that. Why would I want to date someone who’s not on Twitter? RT @RockstrNinjaGrl: Whenever I hear Firestarter by Prodigy I think of @bobalouie dancin around with glowsticks. // This makes me happy. A dude at my gym recognized me from Twitter and came up to say hi. How sweet! Hello there, Jurassic Park theme song…why are you so firmly lodged in my head? @Emarieg I know right? It works wonders. @kelkel926 I wish I were there too, babycakes! @NathanPayne P.S. Welcome back!

Daily Digest for 2010-06-16

Richard Mankhey — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	4:46pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard is putting ketchup on his salmon and there’s nothing you can do about it.
	11:48pm	rmankhey posted 65 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @whosthatgirl2 giggles #kahlua If y’all need an umbrella, ella, ella, ella to stand under today you can use mine. It’s big. @DCBrent Using the Hitler car to fight terrorists? It that some kind of irony? RT @unmarketing: Best. Twitter Tips. Ever. http://goo.gl/xCaW by @ChrisBrogan // <—- Read this. Everyone. Seriously. Kate Gosselin is rumored to be getting a dating reality show. 2 Words: 8 kids \| 2 More Words: Hell no Thus far at work today I’ve spent 80% of my time in meetings, 10% in the bathroom and 10% tweeting. RT @DCBrent: DOMO is invisible. @DCJono @boogdogDC @bobalouie #parlortricks http://twitpic.com/1xbqy4 // I love it! @Rjaxx1 Do you do that too? I love it. LOVE. IT. @gaypornfanatic @John_Irvine The more important questions is were there any casualties? Please say ‘yes’. @Alisonhatesyou You’re more than welcome. I realize beggars can’t be choosers, but I accept rock hard stools also. RT @petwebdesigner: A miniature pig with red rain boots! (cute pic): http://bit.ly/9s13Fy // This is JUST what I needed! Thanks! @DCBrent As far as making an auto purchase decision goes, I can’t fault his criteria. @Rjaxx1 We ketchup-philes need to stick together. So many don’t understand our ways. I had one of those work dreams where hundreds of poisonous snakes invade the office & I’m tasked w/ catching them. @JeremyHawking Now THAT’S multi-tasking. I can’t stuff my face and tweet at the same time. From here on out I will refer to IE as ‘aieeeee’!!!! @EvanOdd Thanks to you I had a dream about Jstin Beber. He was working in a Starbucks & he made me some shtty coffee. @LegalMoose I can’t swim so I won’t be needing a waterproof Garmin…but as much as I sweat maybe I should reconsider. I’m 6 days into Operation: Grow A Beard. I was going for ’sexy’ but so far all I’ve achieved is ‘mangy’. @OneFineJay I suppose that’s one opinion. @norcross @ryancduff @ELJefe843 NPR told me it was going to be a blustery day today. @whosthatgirl2 Hello sweetie, and thanks for the ReTweet! smooch* @Jamberta @sudeepe @boogdogdc How about that prom pic? I was a lil’ portly then. http://twitpic.com/1×5nwx @gaypornfanatic I almost bought a shirt that said that one time; I just took a picture instead. The different between Oxycontin and Oxytocin is that Oxytocin is free. @M2pics Here’s hoping you set your sights on a rainbow! I’ve seen 2 in the past week, & only 1 was a result of LSD. @Boddingtons Like buttah…salted even. @mikesica That’s plenty of time to prepare my marriage proposal. Thanks for the heads up! Time to try out my new running toy: http://twitgoo.com/1405th @OneFineJay Ain’t nobody satisfies my penchant for masochism like you do. grins By the way @TheCortez, I love that you’ve put me on such interesting lists. They are 100% accurate! @M2pics Isn’t it Show-and-Tell today? C-: I got a really good deal on the Garmin from Buy.com. Check it out! @John_Irvine I’m sure the Fruit-of-the-Loom(TM) factory had a moment of silence for those brave unmentionables. I call dibs on the lead singer from The Script. @SvilleFarmrsMkt Hooked On Phonics didn’t work for me. @boogdogDC You’re welcome! I love Home++ for Android phones. I may marry it. Is that legal in VA? Or AZ? @skunkhair Except for moi; you discreetly DM me all of your sexual propositions. @ImUrCaligirl Thanks, sugar! Sometimes it’s good to take a break…like when you have work to do or something. @boogdogDC @Jamberta Actually @SuDeepe sewed the shiny, metallic vest for me. Girl has got mad Singer skillz. If I worked in a VW Dealership I’d be PunchDubbing my coworkers ALL the time. @beatpunk Big points for you! (RE: Blustery & Pooh) @ELJefe843 @OneFineJay What kind of pity do you feel for someone (like me) who has been subjected to your tweets for MONTHS? SEM/SEO/PPC/SMO…digital marketing is 18 kinds of kinky. @eyephoto85 Overachiever? Pfft. You must have me confused with someone else. @skunkhair I have pirhanas in mine but that’s only when company come over & I wanna get fancy. Someday I hope to add "Former Fashion Model" to my résumé. @ImUrCaligirl I’m not sure, exactly, but I know plenty of people you could ask! @OneFineJay I’ve seen several pieces on that. Some seem to think hurricanes might actually benefit the Gulf. @EvanOdd Oh heck, let’s face it…I’m seethingly jealous of that little Canadian. I’m putting ketchup on my salmon and there’s nothing you can do about it. When making vendor decisions at work, I always opt for the one with the most attractive representatives. @kelkel926 Touché! @DCHotland Aww thanks darlin’! Sometimes when work gets busy I know better than to get on Twitter…at least this Twitter account. @skunkhair Don’t forget to take off the toilet lid & look blankly into the tank. It always puts me in a Zen-like. State. @DCJono P. Domo is angry you would spread such libel and slander and promises to kick your butt good. @boogdogDC @John_Irvine No Samuel Jackson to swear and save the day? What the heck? My mom asks permission to put old pics of me on FB. We’re who we are ‘cuz of where we’ve been. No shame. @SuDeepe While I’m not cool enough to play "Words w/ Friends" on my Droid phone, I CAN play "What the Doodle", so suck it. @beatpunk Hello my newest Facebook friend! @DCbigpappa What else? My sense of entitlement, for instance. @DCJono Whatever. What do you expect to happen when you gang up on somebody? I want a rematch. @boogdogDC RT @sandypants88: My heart will go on is on the radio right now…WTF? // It’s the latest in terrorist tactics. patiently waiting for Whitney Houston to get back on crack and get a Twitter account Overheard at work: "If you’d lay off the Percocet you might be able to remember where you save your documents." @sianyrobinson "Your kiss, your kiss is on my list…" Well, you are anyway, my dear. wink

Daily Digest for 2010-06-15

Richard Mankhey — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

2:56pm

rmankhey updated their status on Facebook.

Richard believes that one touch is never enough.

Daily Digest for 2010-06-14

Richard Mankhey — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	11:56am	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard is invoking thoughts of Snowmageddon to fight the swelter of Summer.
	10:49pm	rmankhey posted 63 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) A friend of mine was drive-by rainbow’d this weekend. @ImUrCaligirl Hello there! Glad you made it back safely. I saw the pictures. Thank you! I’m glad you had a good weekend. @urbanphish A proctology internship? @ma3145tt giggles That’s a good one! It took me 4 re-reads to get the pun. This is going to prove most entertaining: http://twitgoo.com/zu4d2 @DCBrent That was the longest ‘aww’ I’ve ever seen. giggles @pjohnson360 I suppose I could get all fancy and pour some Hershey’s chocolate syrup on myself. @michaelfmuller If they don’t follow YOU yet, they’re about to. Way to go, big tweet mouth! Attn Droid Users! 10 Essential Free Games for Android phones: http://bit.ly/drVAmh RT @DupontDan: What a cute couple holding hands @bobalouie @boogdogDC @Alisongrasso I bet Martha bakes one mean gay cake. Time for a run. RELATED: Are iPods waterproof? ..oh nothing…just looking for the remote so I can rewind and relive the weekend all over again. @michaelfmuller Thank you, darlin’! smooch RT @KimW16: ‘This world is kinder to those who choose not to look back.’ @Bobalouie ? I think. // What made you think of that tweet? @pjohnson360 Definitely pork rind crispy. It’s the fat that gives it that special mouth feel. @ImUrCaligirl Maaaaaaaybe. @boogdogDC :’-) RT @slummymummy9: #nowplaying Boys Boys Boys by Lady GaGa, via @Osfoora. @bobalouie this song reminds me of you. #love // feels the LOVE I’m getting crispy waiting at the bus stop. bites arm Mmmm. Just right. #nomnomnom @EvanOdd That you’d look smashing in a Secret Fit Belly(TM) Mini-Maternity Skirt, no doubt. @boogdogDC I’m prepared to wear out the VHS cassette from overuse. @SvilleFarmrsMkt Her ability to flatten me is substantial. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’d beat me at arm wrestling. I’m still in a somewhat of a stupor from this weekend, and no, it’s not from a surfeit of ethanol-laced beverages. @JamesBlute Our analytics don’t show much traffic from Twitter. I wonder how the Analytics handle a link from an application like Tweetdeck? @JamesBlute How do I sign up? Does anyone know anything about the whole "Facebook Credits" pilot thing that’s going on? @DCToddNow I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m wishing you good luck galore! crosses fingers Overheard in the office: "I’m a little too powerful; I whack the balls and they go flying." @JamesBlute Fantastic. Much appreciated! @oodleday I also happen to sing Paramore better than deaf-mutes. I’m going to try to grow a beard. Based on previous attempts, I should have some results by mid-2011. @Cumdumpster2000 I believe it’s the remote control with the optional ‘personal massager’. You’ll love it. @ImUrCaligirl @boogdogDC @EvanOdd That mental image isn’t nearly as unappealing as one might think, at first. @pjohnson360 Of course, I’m partial to butterscoth. Need a bib? @A_Ron_The_DJ …at least as far as your parents are concerned. @sianyrobinson That would be EPIC. @gaypornfanatic A cowboy hat for two? Yee-haw! @gaypornfanatic Do you have a cowboy hat to go along with the ‘howdy partner’? @michaelfmuller I know that’s right! @JamesBlute We don’t pay special attention to website traffic from Twitter. Should we be? @DicksALot Everything in moderation…including whacking. @OneFineJay Hopefully she’ll eschew legal action. We have a unique work relationship. I work with a very tall woman named Stacey but I refer to her as ‘Mangela’. Is that harassment or just funny? @ImUrCaligirl Like a towel, a flashlight of some kind is never a bad idea to have on your person at all times. @EvanOdd Isn’t Justin Bieber wearing a maternity mini-skirt the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse? @ImUrCaligirl I’m gonna go for full beard first and then consider down-grading to goatee or pornstache later. @ImUrCaligirl You are so very gracious, my dear! beams @JamesBlute That’s great stuff. I hadn’t even considered that. I appreciate the insight! Is it done raining yet? I am not gonna run 10 miles without my iPod. I can’t believe there are guys that thinks it’s OK to shake hands in the bathroom. Is it some sort of signal? @michaelfmuller I can tell you how the bustier got on you. In fact, I have some pictures here… I have Special needs. Yes, with a capital ‘S’. @kelkel926 Well we’re all in terrific company aren’t we? I would love to visit you…especially after seeing your latest avatar! @beatpunk Absolutely! The pleasure was all mine! @OneFineJay OMGosh I’m so gonna go call her that right now! I sing Paramore better than Paramore. @michaelfmuller Oh, @loose_sphincter? That’s my alter ego. P.S. Thank you for the compliment. I’m going for the ‘Clark Kent’ look. @matthewarchman Well don’t we have good taste in clothes? If more NoVA drivers would slit their wrists ‘cuz of the horrible traffic the roads would be a lot less congested. A Twitter user named @male_baldness is following me. I hope it doesn’t catch up. I may or may not be using your picture as my phone’s desktop wallpaper.

Daily Digest for 2010-06-13

Richard Mankhey — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	5:36pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard has been hording a terrific treasure all weekend, but luckily his mother taught him how to share.
	10:49pm	rmankhey posted 55 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) RT @oodleday: MO BANANA MO PROBLEMS http://twitpic.com/1waizv @JeremyHawking It’s not for the faint of heart. In hindsight, "Do you have any Valtrex(TM) to spare?" is not the best pick-up line I’ve ever come up with. Let them eat cake: http://twitgoo.com/zofn9 Beware the mange: http://twitgoo.com/zocj9 It rubs the lotion on its skin…or it would if it had some. I see gay people. They are EVERYWHERE. @JeremyHawking …but you don’t seem like the "faint of heart" type…unless there’s a condition I’m not aware of. If you don’t make fun of my shoes I won’t make fun of your face. @bobalouie I just replied to myself. Dang you Seesmic, you shouldn’t let that happen! I think I’m allergic to T.V. @valora_ixchel Girl, I’ve been favoriting your tweets all day! @John_Irvine Actually, that is the primary reason; and sometimes you find fun things people have dropped in the hole. It’s safe to say that my sex tape has not yet gone viral. @Alisongrasso Gracias!! @tmamtrak I think it’s the coffin-like atmosphere. RT @bobalouie: @bobalouie You are no longer alone. Let me wipe those tears borne of ostracization away. // This was for you @John_Irvine Step 1 of Operation "Plaid is Bad": Purchase a Taser(TM). I’ve a high threshold for pain, but the urge to urinate when you can’t is MONSTROUS! You don’t bring me anything but down..and crabs that one time. Why, yes, that is my hot pink stapler. @bobalouie You are no longer alone. Let me wipe those tears borne of ostracization away. @jesserker My sweat glands are entirely too enthusiastic. @Rjaxx1 I don’t know how to feel about that. "Complete Revulsion" comes to mind. @MichaThom waves back sends air kisses for good measure @Rjaxx1 Bingo, baby. @pjohnson360 Precisely! Who the heck is that blonde lolipop that’s always doing commercials with Regis Philbin? High Fructose Awkward Sauce. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m incredibly interested in pictures of dead bodies. "Happy" Pride = "Gay" Pride Boop boop be doop: http://twitgoo.com/zqp90 @Boddingtons I can do both those things, but you’re correct…I do NOT do them in Porta-Potties(TM). Pay no attention to the side-boob behind the curtains. I detest U2. There. It’s out in the open now. @TheCortez …and at the Smithsonian! Who knew? @Rjaxx1 LOVE IT! I just found my newest favorite song, thanks to you. Hay mucho calor at the Pride street festival. My light blue shirt is now navy. So…"I don’t take free condoms ‘cuz they’re not Magnums" is a pick up line? If only I’d known. This is gonna totally gross you out the wall, but I rather enjoy using Porta-Potties(TM). @John_Irvine Word, Brother. I mean Twitter Husband. Um….this has just crossed the line into Awkwardseville. @Rjaxx1 I like you. I was undecided at first but it was your penchant for cheesy 80’s music that tipped the scales. This is the part of the show where I remove my pants to show you the trick I do with my pet lamprey. "I Can’t Get You Outta My Bed" #songsforthemorningafter My dreams of a best-selling "Ask Me About My Tapeworm" shirt just got pooped on. @Boddingtons I forget girls have to utilize TP everytime. Thanks for the reminder and accompanying mental image. My crazy aunt just FB friend requested me. I gotta amp up the bestiality status updates. I’ve been hording a terrific treasure all weekend, but luckily Mother taught me how to share. @USFBull82 wants you to know something: http://twitgoo.com/zrbzp @EvanOdd That was pure comic genius! Favorited! @Rjaxx1 Well…you were 16… So many what? http://twitgoo.com/zr0y8 @JeremyHawking Time will tell. Take your pills, gurl. Someone left their wallet on the train: http://twitgoo.com/zobi1 @valora_ixchel giggles Another favorite!!!

Daily Digest for 2010-06-12

Richard Mankhey — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	4:21pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard is happy.
	11:48pm	rmankhey posted 25 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @Cumdumpster2000 Me too. My fake friends are so much cooler. @JBizzleRox #cozyjosie is still going on? RT @DupontDan: Pride underwear! http://tweetphoto.com/26888310 // I’ve seen those before… I now have more virtual friends (Twitter) than real friends (Facebook). Wow. I suck. @tammyphinney Thank you, sweetie! You can look at some children & just KNOW they’re gonna grow up fugly and sex-starved. Oh nothing…just playing "Truth or Dare" while waiting in line at the DMV. Envious? @John_Irvine Define "cute". P. Domo spotted in the wild: http://twitgoo.com/zmome I’m a lucky boy. The thing about Pride is that so many of us are going to do things we’re anything but proud of. @DCBrent Oh yes…them. @JBizzleRox @tammyphinney No…but your fingers are a different matter. @Emarieg Ha ha! My mom used to say the same thing about janitors. @JBizzleRox Awesome. Glad you didn’t have to trek back out to VA. RT @boogdogDC: I’m at Vienna/Fairfax-GMU Metro Station (2900 Nutley St, Virginia Center Dr, Fairfax). http://4sq.com/74V8DL @ma3145tt How did you know about the DMV failure? There are a lot of events involving balls going on this weekend. @MichaThom Thanks, sweetie. ;-* Is there a parade today or something? @MichaThom My phone and 2 handsome gentleman. No, YOUR dad is an enormous chamber filled with towering stone columns. Going to the DMV is exactly what I wanted to do this morning, but at least I’m in good company. @LegalMoose Favorited @slummymummy9 More like 12, ya potty mouth.

Daily Digest for 2010-06-11

Richard Mankhey — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 04:59:59 +0000

	1:31pm	rmankhey updated their status on Facebook. Richard has a new version available for you to download. Please upgrade to the latest version for even more fun, games, mischief & debauchery.
	10:48pm	rmankhey posted 45 tweets on Twitter. (Show Details) @ideasurge You see? This is why Twitter is awesome. Thanks for helping me choose murder over the patent process. @LegalMoose Happy cows may come from California but there are plenty in DC. I have a date with some kettlebells. BBL @mikey_m00n …and the lower GIs? OMG I just had a seizure: http://www.hotdoom.com/ http://www.deepblackhole.com/ @mikesica Maybe. I’ve only been to Texas once and I learned they don’t sell liquor in all of the Dallas suburbs. Remember Susan Boyle? That was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it? Noise-canceling headphones are great, but what I really need is fck-tard-co-worker canceling headphones. No, I’m not injecting steroids into my bum, but I am looking for someone to do it for me. Ladies? @lwilcher You rang? The only thing I like about Summer is that my chances of "death by icicle to the face" are greatly reduced, @VirtualMarketer I’m going to try to compile a "Social Media Analytics & ROI" report at my boss’s request. I’m stumped. @pockettpatrick Gene Wilder is not dead. NPR would not* wish happy birthday to a corpse. @DCBrent That’s not what he and he and he and he said. We all see what we want to see: http://flic.kr/p/71e39r @pjohnson360 You’ve seen or are currently following said Twitter profiles? Is there a rule against gratuitous nudity in your Twitter avatar? I’m asking for a friend. I’m beginning to think that all that paint huffing I did in kindergarten was a bad idea. @whosthatgirl2 @rjaxx1 Thank you for the ReTweets! @SoCalMeeka I know right? Estoy muy confudido, but at least you get the messages! Fly safely! @teg94 Hello Sailor! New in town? Oh wait…wrong uniform… @pjohnson360 @gayrednecks @singulardc Thanks for the ReTweet, gentlemen! @pockettpatrick P.S. Who’s that hottie in your avatar? Have I met him before? @pockettpatrick Oh snap! You hit the proverbial nail on the head with that one. 10 points for Patrick. @mikey_m00n I was going for ‘euphemism’ but I can see how you arrived at ‘innuendo’. RT @DCBrent: #JIZ // That is so 2009. @slummymummy9 I have 2 copies of Strunk & White. I also have 2 copies of "How to Win Friends & Influence People". @MichaThom Aww shucks, sweetie pie…I haven’t seen you for weeks. Thanks, and Merry Pride to you! @g3rd80 @taco_heina Good idea, but I do that in subtle ways everyday. @Jafnyr1 Maybe Susan Boyle is the 2nd Coming? Happy Birthday, Gene Wilder (1933)! Have a scrum-diddly-umptous day! @LegalMoose Are patents hard to acquire? I’m thinking murdering my co-workers would be less hassle. Song #1 on today’s earworm playlist is "Ballroom Blitz". It’s going to be a fun day Green Lantern TONIGHT for Mama’s Trailer Park Pride Kick-Off w. A-Ron.The.DJ. 9pm-close!! Best vodka specials in town! I heard a cute conversation between a mother & her gay son on NPR this morning & thought of @SuDeepe. I love you, Mom! Twitter is a constant reminder that peoples’ delusions run far deeper than you ever wanted to know. @pjohnson360 I was waiting for that. Perhaps I should have added #SFW to that link… @slummymummy9 I’ve got my eye on a pair of a$$less chaps from the Leather Rack. When’s your HS reunion? @snoopysnowcone I shouldn’t be so critical of morons on Twitter. They inspire some of my best tweets. @SoCalMeeka Yo! RT @slummymummy9: #FF @bobalouie my Twitter boyfriend who may have caused a mass suicide by joking he was in a relationship on FB. // HA HA! It’s shirts vs. skins for the boys’ soccer team at the local high school. Wait…what binoculars? I stole yer Farmville pig & sold it to 7-11: http://twitgoo.com/za9vo RT @DCdebbie: LOOK! I’m on top of @ebertchicago’s list! Of what? Gotta click the link to see… http://j.mp/c5C0tz // It’s probably not SFW.