Inspired by astrology: Week in Review
Posted by Richard Mankhey
My daily Gemini horoscope from my friend Michael is as follows:
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Why gaze at the ground, when you can stare at the sky? Why focus on failure, when you can strive for success? Why fear isolation, when you can reach out for good company? Questions like this are much easier to ask than to answer. None of us chooses to struggle or suffer but sometimes we get into bad habits and we can’t easily shake them off. You have options and alternatives this weekend. From where I’m standing, they are clearly visible. But how will you see them unless you open your eyes?
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This first thing that comes to mind is:
“We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” ~O. Wilde
This particular horoscope is really great, though, speaking of habits. I quit smoking on Sunday and have actually had a pretty good time of it. No horrible withdrawals…no mood swings…sure there’s the occassional “oh, I’m done with lunch time for a smoke” or “oh, my supervisor just chewed me a new asshole for something stupid” urges to light up, but I’m quite proud of myself. I’ve found that it’s not the substance itself I miss that much…though I can sense its absence…it’s the psychological aspects and the ritual of it all (smoking). Intrestingly enough, I used to walk down and up the 6 flights of stairs everytime I went for a smoke and this would happen maybe 3-4 times a day and now I’m locked to my computer all day unless I force myself to take a break. THINK about all that exercise I’m not getting!
It was interesting that last Tuesday a report came out that said the most effective way to quit smoking is a combination of the nicotine patch and gum. I have some nicotine gum somewhere but I haven’t used any of it yet. I have been wanting to eat more…like candy (Skittles, M & M’s)…and I’ve been really tired all week and have only managed to go running once (and it wasn’t a good run, either) but on the plus side I’ve gotten quite a bit of good sleep. My friend Jim came over on Tuesday for dinner and to spend the night and Wednesday I spent an hour talking to Joshua and trying to figure out when we are going to see each other again. But all in all it’s a great start.
In fact, I was thinking on the bus ride to work this morning that in a way I’m getting a jump start on the new year (2010) and why should I stop at quitting smoking? There are so many things I could change about myself and my life (some bad habits, some just plain positive changes) and I feel motivated to do just that.
As for “options and alternatives” this weekend I’m looking forward to them. Tonight I’m meeting a friend/former boyfriend (sorta) whom I haven’t seen or talked to in 2 years for dinner/whatever. Saturday I’m taking a guy named Mike I met on Manhunt (and not in real life yet) to the party of a guy I met at the Equality March (no one will no anyone else so we’ll all be on the same level, eh?) and Sunday I’m going to meet a 41 year guy named Jeff I met on Manhunt at his place in Columbia Heights to watch a movie (hopefully “Aliens”) and have some wine.
I have no expectation for either of these gentlemen. I have made many amazing friends under less auspicious circumstances (and more auspicious for that matter) and I wouldn’t have them in my life unless I’d been in a position to meet them. There’s always an option…there are always alternatives…
I’d like to think this is a good move on my part…taking advantage of my options and all that.
Time will tell. It always does, doesn’t it?
Yes, man.
Posted by Richard Mankhey
I’ve come to the realization that my nature is to be a people pleasing kind of person who can get easily sucked into drama at work and manipulated by evil bosses to feel guilty about the work I’m not doing fast enough or the work I shoudn’t be doing but have been tasked with anyway…and you know how it is…
I suppose the same thing goes for interpersonal relationships. A people pleaser will not want to be up-front with someone when he or she isn’t into them, or they have a criticism they want to make or there is something about someone else that rubs them the wrong way (you can also call this sort of behavior “wussy” and I’m guilty as charged)…
It’s been in the works for a while now but I’ve suddenly had an epiphany that I’m not going to live like that anymore and this is particularly relevant to work so I say SCREW IT when your boss wants you to come in over the weekend because of a CLIENT’S inability to deliver their part of the project on time and then I say “Hello” to my new (and improved) balanced lifestyle.
In summary: Screw you guys; I’m going home.
Protected: Check, mate.
Posted by Richard Mankhey
Strange relationship
Posted by Richard Mankhey
Sometimes I come across snippets of wisdom I’d like to save for later or humorous perspectives on life that strike me funny and this is both of those.
My continual fascination and flabbergastedness with Twitter, Facebook, and such drew me to this humorous picture which was oddly appropriate to find today because at my company monthly team meeting we discussed the impact of social media on businesses and if you know anything about Twitter, this is priceless:
As I said, I’m still slightly confused by the whole Twitter thing but I’m on it [bobalouie], my mom’s on twitter [SuDeepe]…it’s kind of like Facebook status updates, but most would call it a form of “micro-blogging” since you’re limited to 140 characters. I kind of see it as a “Note to myself” tool that you can send things to on the fly and have collected in one place for later.
For instance, here is an OBVIOUSLY important tidbit I posted about 5 hours ago:
“Wednesday is officially Champagne Day! Since about 4:30 pm…woo-hoo!”
In addition to this narcissistic micro-blogging you have the added dimension of being able to “follow” people and get updated by SMS text message when they “tweet” or update their status…and people can follow you, also. It starts to get complicated when you don’t want to offend anyone and NOT follow them, or by not replying to their direct messages (some treat Twitter like another IM client), which brings me to the pearl of wisdom I mentioned earlier that has soooooo many more applications than Twitter, it is relevant and strangely related to the cartoon above:
“Seeking approval from others is a full time job with no vacations or benefits.”
Ain’t that the truth?
Solace in-between the lines
Posted by Richard Mankhey
When I was younger, I used to write a lot of poetry because I loved the act of creation and it also helped me get thoughts down in an easy-to-read yet slightly esoteric form of communication for friends and family. I would often use poetry as an outlet for frustrations or questions or feelings I had but couldn’t process or speak about properly; then I’d give it to my mom to read and try to decipher what the heck I was frustrated about. Did I mention that they were usually esoteric?
Most of it frequently rhymed, but my brain is good at swapping words and phrases thesaurus-style so I can get my message across and still maintain some semblance of lyrical poetry. My musical tastes are frequently determined by the lyric content and subject matter of the song/singer.
I still love to write…though these days it ends up being garrulous emails and quite recently of course, this blog; I have also always loved to read and find great in inspiration, solace, and wisdom in the written word (except for the occasional horror novel or Celebrity-trash magazine).
One lesson I’ve carried with me and used often I learned growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (a.ka. the Mormon Church). We were taught to refer to scriptures (the King James Bible and/or Book of Mormon) when we had a problem or dilemma we wanted some insight into. Essentially, trust your instinct/insight/Holy Ghost to lead you to the right passage in one of the aforementioned books when you pick it up and open it.
I’ve found it works with other types of literature, also, and I found what has become one of my favorite poems by grabbing a free literary pamphlet from a box outside the metro on December 17, 2008. The poem is by Sarah Teasdale (1884-1933) and is entitled “Advice to a Girl”:
Advice to a Girl
No one worth possessing
Can be quite possessed;
Lay that on your heart,
My young angry dear;
This truth, this hard and precious stone,
Lay it on your hot cheek,
Let it hide your tear.
Hold it like a crystal
When you are alone
And gaze in the depths of the icy stone.
Long, look long and you will be blessed;
No one worth be possessing
Can be quite possessed.
What’s so wonderful about this poem? Hmm….well…I suppose it spoke not only to my muddled brain and state of mind at the time but also to so much befuddlement I’ve felt in certain situations in my life…times when I wondered if I was truly worth possessing…or would ever be possessed…
I’m sure I’ve got the first part down…as for the latter…time will tell.